Friday, February 29, 2008

Happy Leap Day!

So I guess I should do something that I only do once every four years.  Some possible candidates are:

1) Mow my lawn
2) Eat at Chili's
3) Get a Brazilian
4) Renew my license to kill.
5) Forget to register to vote.

Monday, February 25, 2008

RIP Omar Little

Omar Little, Baltimore's rob-from-drug-dealers-and-give-to-the-poor bad ass, was gunned down by Lil Kenard in this week's episode of The Wire. His passion for Honey Nut Cheerios and classic R&B was only exceeded by his zeal for latin men.  And he was one of the greatest characters in the history of teevee. He is survived by no one since those around him always ended up dead.

And is it just me, or does Baltimore's Police Deputy of Operations Cedric Daniels look remarkably like

possible Dharma/Widmore "recruiter" Mathew Abaddon?

Does the smokemonster work for Marlo Stanfield?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Dallas: The Can't Do City (Epilogue)

Unfair Park has a great item on how the Andres Brothers decided to withdraw there plans to redevelop the old Carnival on Henderson. The key quote from one of the brothers:

"If you could pick one company in the world to get something done in East Dallas with a cool $12-million building, it'd be Whole Foods. And when that loses, we both said, 'It's over.'

This is a huge disappointment for me personally (the current contender for Wally's is just a few blocks down from there) and for me as a citizen of Dallas. But it seems that no matter how tasty a bowl a soup a developer wants to bring to East Dallas, some douchenozzle will drop a deuce in that same bowl.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

"Squirrel melts; you must try them."

Which part is the most disturbing to you?

Sprawl Stalled

Way back in the begining of this blog I took a ride in the old S2000 up SH 78; entranced by how far out "Dallas" now goes. It seemed to have crept as far north as Lavon -- maybe further.
Well, now, through a combination of the subprime collapse, high gas prices and, no doubt, my ranting against sprawl in this blog, the city of Lavon is no longer growing.

And yes, I did receive a new shipment of commas.

Start here, if you want to read more.

Bill Endorses Obama

If you tried this earlier and it didn't work, it works now. Hopefully.

16 years ago.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What the Hell Is Going On Here???

I may have to do something soon that I never thought I would have to do -- watch Dancing with the Stars. It's not that I want to, but I have to. My leader will be performing. I still can't believe it. Another personal favorite, Penn Jillette will also be lowering himself.

Christ they must be paying a lot to get two of the most cynical and anti-star types in the history of everything.

Please little 8lb 6oz baby jebus let him be the first off.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Later hosen.

Dallas: The Can't Do City (Redux)

Pictured is what the Andres brothers wanted to put in the place that now houses an abandoned Carnival grocery store at Henderson and Ross. But according to this article on Unfair Park, the brothers have succumb to the micromanaging of the city and the neighborhood busy-bodies and withdrawn their request for a zoning change. Good work guys. Now we're gonna get Walmart. Gee that's better. Thanks fuckheads.
I just don't fucking understand this city. On the one hand we don't get good, needed development like this project or the new Whole Foods in Lakewood. But we do get the McKinney Avenue Church (aka Hard Rock) torn down to make way for more shit on McKinney.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

This article from The St. Petersburg Times list the an 80s rich list of the top 20 movie nerds. Enjoy.

20. ILAN MITCHELL-SMITH: Shortest nerd career in history. After playing "Wyatt Donnelly" in "Weird Science, Mitchell-Smith is now a professor of English at Angelo State University.
19. TIMOTHY BUSFIELD: Yes, that's Busfield as "Arnold Poindexter" in "Revenge of the Nerds." Bonus points for being whiney yuppie in "thirtysomething."
18. SARAH JESSICA PARKER: "Rusty" in "Footloose" got her nerd start on TV's Square Pegs.
17. CRISPIN GLOVER: Hello? Hello? "George McFly" in "Back to the Future."
16. PATRICK DEMPSEY: Long before he was "McMuffin" or whatever the hell women call him now, he was "Ronald Miller" in "Can't Buy Me Love."
15. GABE JARRET: Don't even tell me he was acting when he played "Mitch" in "Real Genius."
14. JOHN CUSACK: "Bryce" in "Sixteen Candles" but also nerd-like roles in "Better Off Dead," "Hot Pursuit" and "One Crazy Summer."
13. JOAN CUSACK: Her character in "Sixteen Candles" is known simply as "Geek Girl #1."
12. MARTIN SHORT: If there was a nerdy amigo among the "Three Amigos," it was Short, who also geeked out for "Inner Space."
11. JOHN CRYER: Debate all you want if Duckie was a nerd in "Pretty in Pink." But then consider "Morgan Stewart's Coming Home" and "Hiding Out."
10. ANDREW McCARTHY: He's a "sensitive turd" in "Class." And he's stuck wearing a wig in the final, re-shot scene of "Pretty in Pink." And don't get me started again about "Mannequin."
9. BRIAN BACKER: "Rat" in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." (Loved the Popeye t-shirt.)
8. HAROLD RAMIS: Big-time geek roles in "Ghostbusters," "Stripes," "Baby Boom" and "Stealing Home."
7. COREY HAIM: Everybody in "Lucas" deserves an honorable mention on this list. 6. GEDDE WATANABE: Long Duk Dong. Need I say more? OK, "Volunteers" and "Gung Ho."
5. ROBERT CARRADINE: Possibly one of the single-greatest nerd performances of all time as "Louis Skolnick" in "Revenge of the Nerds." But also his only nerd role. And it's watered down by his tough-guy turn in "Big Red One."
4. ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL: Farmer Ted still ends up with the hot girl in "Sixteen Candles" and "Weird Science." But in "The Breakfast Club," he's the only one who doesn't hook up (and gets stuck writing the paper.)

3. PEE WEE HERMAN: He turned nerd-dom into a franchise.
2. RICK MORANIS: Three nearly impossible-to-equal
nerd movies: "Ghostbusters," "Little Shop of Horrors" and "Honey, I Shrunk the
Kids." Only his role in "Streets of Fire" keeps him out of the No. 1 spot.
1. CURTIS ARMSTRONG: "Booger" in "Revenge of the Nerds" was even better teamed with John Cusack in "Better Off Dead." And don't forget his turn as "Miles" in "Risky Business."

Saturday, February 16, 2008


The latest list (a terrible, all-over-the-place list, btw) from List Universe has me coming up with my own list of my favorite beers.

  1. Maredsous 10 - great flavor, great color, great punch. As far as I know, it can only be had on tap at Gezellig.
  2. Hairy Eyeball - this seasonal from Lagunitas opened up my beer world, a sentimental favorite.
  3. Terminal Gravity IPA - became my favorite of the Oregon IPAs. I'm all out. sniff
  4. Hop Rod Rye - My favorite beer from my walkabout. Available locally at Whole Foods.
  5. Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA - finishes ahead of 90 just cause I can drink more of it at a sitting.
  6. Maredsous 8 - I know there are better Belgian beers. But this is the one I drink the most.
  7. Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA - Hoppy + High ABV = crazy shenanigans
  8. Yuengling Lager - America's best American beer. A must drink when I go back to Jersey.
  9. Franziskaner Hefe - my favorite Hefe. Paulaner and Hoegaarden just don't do much for me.
  10. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale - America's best generally available beer. A near perfect balance of hoppiness and maltiness.

And my bottom 5 (Not including AYBs)

  1. Stella Artois - sorry Meesh
  2. Heineken - ugh. really??
  3. Corona - Spanish for burro piss.
  4. Fat Tire - drank so much of it before I developed my taste for hops, it no longer does much for me. Not a bad beer, just one I generally turn my beer snob nose up at.
  5. Schmitz Gay - tastes too much like a strawberry daiquiri and Clorox.

Netflix Review: The King of Kong

If anybody wants to see, there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up.

The King of Kong is one of those documentaries like Grizzly Man or American Movie that tend to inspire a great deal of pity for it's characters -- and not in a good way. The audience is left thinking how these people are able to function in society but also relieved that they know no one like them.

The King of Kong is largely the story of one man who achieved some level of greatness in the early 80s (I know the feeling) and his machinations to keep himself on the top of the classic arcade totem pole. This guy is the douchenozzle known as Billy Mitchell. This is the kind of dude that found a look in 1982 and has stuck with it through two Bush presidencies.

The Other side of the story is Steve Wiebe -- the super nice guy challenger -- who struggles against the "classic arcade game establishment" to gain acceptance for himself and his own records.

I don't want to give to much of the story away since I want each and every one of you to see it. But this is highly entertaining although you will want to shower the Billy Mitchell cheese off of you after watching it.

Instead of my usual list of movie milestones, I leave you with a list of Billy Mitchell quotes:

  • Not even Helen of Troy had that much attention.
  • World Record headquarters, can I help you?
  • Well maybe they'd like it if i lost. I should try losing some time.
  • Well, Billy Mitchell always has a plan.

Well one list item:

  • Academy Award nomination for Mr. Awesome for being so fucking awesome and sounding like Christopher Walken.

King Wally says check it out.


Mr. Awesome

One of the most interesting people from King of Kong is Missile Command champion and self proclaimed chick wrangler Roy Shildt. There's not much of him in the documentary. So if you want more, here it is.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Addicted to Lost

If you want to obsess over Lost like I do, you have to spend most of your day at these sites. Check them out and join me in the unemployment line.

The Fuselage
Doc Artz
Doc Jensen
Dark UFO
Lost Podcast with Jay and Jack

I'm not proud of this. In fact this is a not so quiet plea for help.

More Jersey Guidos

Here's their website and an article explaining this phenomenon.

No Winter League for me tomorrow. I have to stay home and sign for the 10 gallon drum of cocoa butter I just express ordered on Amazon. That place has everything.

Alex the Seductress

She wants to send this in to Hustler's Beaver Hunt.
Tired of all the Alex pix?? Not to worry. It'll be spring soon and I'll be around the lake beating you down with pictures of egrets.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I'm Proud to be from Jersey

See more of my guido brethren here. Beware the oompa loompas.

Dallas: The Can't Do City

Once again petty concerns from a handful of "neighborhood leaders" and the city's micormanaging zoning system has forced a development to be less than what it could have been. This time it's those capitalist pig, money grubbing, environmentally and socially questionable folks at Whole Foods that have given up trying to negotiate the city's developmental minefield. Instead of a swanky new store, like the one at Preston and Forest, Whole Foods had decided to just refurbish the existing Minyards at Gaston and Abrams.

The money quote from WF:

Ultimately, we decided to explore the idea of a new structure, and we recognized that this would mean navigating the existing restrictions and asking for neighborhood and city support on a new design that would serve the neighborhood and allow us to run an efficient store at the same time.

However, all current indicators, combined with our experience in building new stores in the past, have led us to believe strongly that we can expect a very long and complex process to acquire the Planned Development District amendment we would need to build a new store.

Strong work Dallas!

I Hope You Enjoy Your VD

Thank You Devean George

One player's greed has saved the Mavericks from themselves.
Not wanting to give up his early "Larry Bird Rights" -- which I believe is the right to have one of the worst mustaches in the history of the NBA, but I could be wrong about that -- Devean George has put the kibosh on the worst trade in Dallas major sports history since the Rangers sent Ron Darling and Walt Terrel to the Mets for Lee "Fucking" Mazzilli. Remember, the Rangers are still techinically a major sports franchise.

Read about it here.

And in the background of all this hub-bub, the Stars will go for a franchise record eighth win in a row. If only someone besides me cared.

Sorry to get so sportsy, but I'm not exactly some guy in the next cubicle over. Shit, I haven't even been in a cubicle in nine months.

Go Stars!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

So It's Come To This

No, not a Simpson's clip show.
After dragging my feet and feeling like less than a man (as if I'm even half a man to begin with), I finally filed for unemployment online. For the past two months I was sure that I would be getting a job "any day now". Well, that didn't exactly happen. Admittedly, I haven't exactly been beating down every door for a job. Shit, I barely make it out of bed most days. So I'm now a deadbeat and this pretty much confirms that I will be voting for Obama since I'm now in the Democratic constituency.

Walkabout Day 1: Cool Thunderstorm Outside of Memphis, TX

I was going through my post list and found this unpublished post from my walkabout. On day one, I was headed right into this very impressive thunderstorm and took some video. Around that time, Blogger added the ability to post video. I gave it a try with this video, but it wasn't working well. So I forgot about it. Well, I found it and here it is.

I'm also thinking it's almost time for another walkabout. Or maybe I'm just craving me some lobster chowder.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Yay!! It's Over

My writers have promised to be back on the job bright and early tomorrow. Which is a shame since I usually don't wake up until noon.

Expect the posts to contain 50% more snark.

Oh, and it looks like we'll get 5 more Lost episodes created. Yeah I'm a nerd. But it's the best show on TV until Battlestar Galactica comes back.

Wow, I have a serious problem. Why has no one staged an intervention??

Eating Dallas: Highland Park Cafeteria

One of the nice things about having a birthday is that I'm now one year closer to getting all my food exclusively from cafeterias. As such, I made a visit to what is supposed to be one of the best cafeterias in the history of cafeterias -- historic Highland Park Cafeteria.

Upon walking in, I was delighted to find myself in the bottom decile, by age, of all people in the restaurant, including staff. I still got it.

I really wanted some chicken fried steak, but saddly it was not CFS day. So I went with one of their other staples, plain ol' fried chicken. My sides included green beans and sour cream mashed potatoes.

The chicken was good, but seriously not anywhere near as good as Popeyes. I love the spicy. The sides I would rate better than average. The potatoes tasted real and not from a box.

To cap off my meal, I had a nice slice of peach pie. The HPC is also well know for it's pies so this was gonna be quite a treat. Well, not so fast. The peaches tasted like they were from a can and the crust, while texturally well done, had little flavor.

This may be a great cafeteria. But there's a reason the cafeteria has gone the way of the do-do. It's a food concept who's time was gone long ago.


1200 N Buckner, Dallas TX 75218

View Larger Map

Keep On Rockin' with the Hardline

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wally's American...

Home of the nacho fountain??

Just throwing it out there.

I Chose Poorly

My old Tivo had a DVD player/burner built in. So when I switched to the Dish Network DVR I was without a DVD player. I figured it would be time to hop on the HD bandwagon, but which technology -- HD DVD or Blu-Ray? Since traditionally the cheap/inferior technology wins the day (Beta/VHS, PC/Mac) I chose HD DVD.

I chose poorly.

The first palpable realization that I had made the wrong choice was when I learned that the Simpson Movie was BlueRay. Then I found out that season three of Lost was also BlueRay.

But the final nail in my HD DVD came today in the form of an email from Netflix.

As you may have heard, most of the major movie studios have recently decided to release their high-definition movies exclusively in the Blu-ray format. In order to provide the best selection of high-definition titles for our members, we have decided to go exclusively with Blu-ray as well.

So, does anyone want a usesless HD DVD player???

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I Wish I Had Bigger Balls

I was lucky enough to be invited to one of my favorite place the other night -- the Platinum Club for a Stars game. I'm a huge Stars fan. I "Tivo" almost every game. FYI A Tivoed hockey game can be watched in about an hour with liberal use of the 30-second skip.
The Platinum Club is a great place to watch a Stars game. Since it's by two bars, there's a party atmosphere.
Technically, we did not have seats in the Platinum Club. But instead hung out at this bar area that overlooks the defensive goal (1st and 3rd periods). The place was hoppin' and there was not a lot of room on the bar overlook. There was about seven of us and we had planted our respective flags on the bar. Well, some of that territory got lost during the first intermission. People wander off for beer, cigs, food and whatnot. Mmmmmmm whatnot.
That's fair. If someone takes our spot that we left, that's cool. I understand. Lot's of people want to watch the Stars.
Well, except if you're going to set your fat asses on the bar that overlooks the ice, please do me a favor AND WATCH THE FUCKING GAME. Good Chrsit, these four old coozes (and by old I mean probably my age) for two periods yenta-ed it up with nonstop chit chat and gossip. Only when the goal blared would they acknowledge the game going on in front of them and look up.
I could not even begin to comprehend why someone would stand in a spot that people interested in the game would like to stand, and then completely ignore the game. With every passing minute, I was letting my enjoyment of the game be detracted by my growing white-hot hatred for these obliviots. As the hatred built inside I could think only of how pathetic I was. If I had a pair of balls on me I would have said, "Hey ladies, enjoying the game."

And Another Thing....

We had and unusually beautiful February weekend.  And not wanting to waste it, I went and took a nice ride around the lake.   The problem is, lots of people felt the same way.  Since I use the almost every week, throughout the year -- often several times a week -- I have a unfounded sense of lake entitlement.   
I'm not proud of this, but dammit, it's my lake. 
And I hate it when other people descend on my lake on nice days and screw up my bike ride.  
To the dude riding around the two abreast with his girlfriend 1) How do you even keep your bike up going this slowly and 2) Don't give me the fucking stink-eye when I pass you.
And to the lesbian couple with multiple dogs -- do you really have to stop in the middle of the bridge by the spillway to talk to the other lesbian couple with multiple dogs??  You had stuff left to talk about after the Hillary/NARAL rally???
To the hot girl jogging around the lake, if you don't want me to stare at those lovelies, put a tshirt over that sportsbra.  And I don't the the stinkeye from you either.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Carrot Cake

I'm not sure what got me to thinking about it, but over the past few day's I've really been craving carrot cake. Of all the cakes, it's my favorite. An no one, at least in my experience, has a better carrot cake than Truluck's. It's about 8 layers tall and chock full of carrotty goodness.

So, if anyone wants to join me in some carrot cake and a nice port, let me know.

Or maybe you know where I can get some better carrot cake than Truluck's.

More Adventures in Drivers License Renewal

After wasting a good part of my Tuesday afternoon waiting in an endless line to renew my drivers license I was not going to go back to the DPS station at NWHWY and Jupiter. Surely the DPS stations in the burbs would be better. Sadly this was not the case. It was a little better. Instead of 100 people deep, the Plano DPS had a manageable 70ish. Unfortunately they had five clerks out with the flu. So, not even getting my ticket, I gave up and headed to Lewisville. All my years living in Lewisville and Flower Mound, the DPS in Lewisville always had short, quick moving lines. And I was not disappointed. The line was about 20 deep and I was out of there in about 15 minutes. So I'm finally completely legal.
Anyone need a ride??

Happy New Year!

It's the year of the rat. So I guess there's still a chance for Hillary to beat Obama. I need to stop stealing my jokes from comedian Rush Limbaugh.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My Sawyer Nickname Is....

Adventures In Drivers License Renewal

I so seldom look at my drivers license that I didn't realize until the other day that it was time to renew the thing. As you can see, the picture on my current license is not of me, but of my creepy molestor twin brother that I seldom talk about. Usually I just renew online. I'm an online guy and do virtually everything I can online. But I wanted to update the picture, so I headed down the the DPS today.
The first exciting thing was it started to hail as I was leaving my house. Thinking better of it, I headed back home to wait out the hail.
I eventually made it to the DPS closest to my house -- Jupiter and NWHWY -- and was handed a ticket. It said "A048 -- wait 9 minutes". Really?? 9 minutes??? cause the magic voice telling me who is being served next is at A150 and the nice lady who handed me the ticket said it will wrap around at A199.
I foolishly waited around until A165 -- which took 30 minutes btw -- and gave up. Fuckit! I'll just renew online and keep my creepy Dateline NBC worthy picture.
Well, my license has now officially expired, so I can't do it online. So tomorrow or the next day I may head up to a less busy DPS station in the northern burbs and renew my license.
Good Times.

It' Hailing!!!!

This Just In from the Summer Of Steve Weather Bureau...

We got some nice accumulation over about a two minute period.

This stone narrowly grazed my foot. It's about the size of a marble. Cool huh? I probably should have put a dime next to it for comparison. But it may have melted by the time I got back.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Yay! I'm #3

Those intellectuals at The Sun have published this article about what male names women think correspond to having the biggest package. Ray, Brian and Nigel seen weeping into their Harp.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Camera Loves Alex

Ankle Update: Day 15

It looks pretty much normal now. There's still a little swelling on the ankle itself. But the foot is normal and most of the purple is gone. For the most part, it no longer bothers me. I can walk on it, but I doubt I'll be able to play on it this week -- hopefully next week for a few points.

I Love Sarah Silverman

Friday, February 1, 2008

The Horror, The Horror

From one of the best ideas, bacon vodka, to one of the worst -- cheeseburger in a can. From the folks that gave us the holocaust (Germany, unless you're a denier) comes the new holocaust of the new millenium. How could this ever be thought of as a good idea? I guess this is for German shutins. JT, you must find this and report back.