Saturday, October 31, 2009

Vermont 2009 Pix: Days 2 and 3

Sorry these took so long to put up. I'm not gonna lie, I forgot about them.


If you're looking at this "Note" from Facebook and not seeing any pictures it's because Facebook doesn't import the Flash based slideshow. Likewise, iPhone users will not be able to see them.

Facebook viewers go here.
iPhone viewers go here.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Worst Product Ever?

Or further evidence as to the craziness of the Japanese? Placenta-Pro (I would hate to try the amateur version of this product) uses only high quality Kyrgyz horse-origin placenta product. Which sounds a bit too legalese for my "tastes". Is this the Cool Whip -- non-dairy whipped topping -- of horse placenta based softdrinks? For shame Placenta-Pro for cutting corners!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Neverending Flight that Never Ended (Almost)

I should have know that this was going to be long night from the moment of my first disappointment.

Within Terminal D in Cleveland's airport, there resides a typical airport type "sports bar" -- lot's of TVs showing various games from around the country. This would be perfect. I can still watch the last quarter of the Cowboy game.

Not so fast.

"We only get some games here." the waitress offered after I requested the Jets/Raiders blowout be switched to Cowboys/Falcons.

OK. I can "watch" the remainder of the game on ESPN Gamecast on my iPhone. I'll drown my disappointment in a large Samuel Adams draft that was surprisingly on their menu.

"Sorry, we ran out of that earlier today."

Scanning the draft menu, I saw there was Budweiser's American Ale. I never thought there would be a reason to drink that. And not wanting to drink a shitty American yellow beer, this would be there perfect opportunity to see what a big "American" brewery would do with an ale.

"Oh, we stopped carrying that months ago."

"I'll have a large Budweiser then.", I replied with shoulders slumping from defeat.

As a world class beer sommelier, I knew instinctively that Budweiser pairs perfectly with a pulled pork sandwich and onion rings.

I was quickly presented with a pulled pork sandwich with french fries. Alerted to her mistake, the waitress made sure to finally present my onion rings once I had finished my sandwich. And don't get me started on that sandwich, but where do you find BBQ sauce that sweet and flavorless? Was it just colored corn syrup?

Well, at least the Cowboys won.

And these annoyances turned out to be minor in comparison as to what would later transpire.

The flight from Cleveland to DFW was mostly annoyance free -- as annoyance free as any flight in a cramped 50 seater can be. Towards the end of the flight I could see an abundance of lightning in the distance and wondered if that would be a problem.

It would be.

Just as we were about to approach DFW for landing, microbursts were detected and no one would be allowed to land. Low on fuel, we ended up landing at Love Field.

At almost 11pm, there would be no ground support for this flight at Love. Those of us who wanted to get off the plane could, but any checked baggage could not be obtained. I figured that since my car was at DFW and that I would probably need that in the morning, I would go ahead and wait it out. Plus I wanted to be able to get my luggage.

After a little over an hour, we finally were refueled and took off for our short trip to DFW. Now, you can't just take off from Love and land in DFW. You have to fly out a ways to make the proper approach. Which we did, all up in the clouds with lightning flashing all around us. Certainly I would be rewarded for my patience by having one of our engines struck thus exploding our freshly refueled jet.

Obviously, since there is no internet in Hell (it is Hell, afterall), we did land safely and I am able to blog semi-amusingly about my adventure.

But it doesn't end there.

Federal law dictates that no one shall take off from one terminal at DFW and land at that same terminal. Usually this is just American Airline's final "fuck you" to their customers, but this time it was self imposed. We flew out originally from DFW to DC out of terminal C. But since I continued on to Vermont, that part of the trip was on Continental, which is right next door in terminal E.

That's fine, I've had to deal with this many times before. And since I hate lugging my luggage (which is obviously what one does with luggage) on and off the terminal shuttles, I usually take the SkyLink to my car, and drive to my landing terminal. By that time I get to the terminal, my bag is usually revolving on the carousel for a quick retrieval and getaway.

Well who knew that they only run the SkyLink one way late at night. And while my landing terminal was right next to the terminal where my car was (that is, just one stop on the SkyLink away), the lone SkyLink train was going the opposite way. So instead of taking one stop, I had to take ALL of the stops.

So instead of a 3 minute trip to my car, it turned into a 20 minute trip around the airport. By the time I got to the carousel, it was empty. I was informed that "the lady" put all the remaining bags away and went home for the night.

Well, I'm glad someone got home early.

I finally made it home around 2am.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Eating DC: Brickskeller

When the concierge at our hotel proclaimed that Brickskeller had the Guinness record for largest beer selection I immediately yelled "Done! Let's go there!"

And that was the last time I was excited about this place.

Yes they have an impressively large beer menu spanning several pages in a very small font. But is it really that impressive when two out of the five beers I asked for they were out of? Also, they only had 12 taps; all of which seem to be on rotation and whoever chooses thought, "Ya know, we can't have just one pumpkin ale on tap, we need six. Oh, and a framboise and some more fruity beers."

Thanks bin Laden.

They did claim to have Vertical Epics 2005-2008 on their menu, but I didn't have the heart to ask if they really had them. Plus, they were $30 a bottle.

And as much as I was disappointed in the alleged beer selection, even more disappointed was placed in front of me in the form of fish & chips. If I had wanted "fish nuggets" I would have asked for them.

But having slammed Brickskeller based mostly on my high expectations, it does seem like it would be a cool neighborhood hangout, provided they had a good beer selection on tap. And, also to be fair, they were going to have Dogfish Head Red & White on tap next week.

That would have been awesome.


View Eating & Drinking in a larger map

Monday, October 19, 2009

Live From DC

Observations and general snark.

It's good to see the million dollar bomb detector now being used as a utility closet. I get it. It's broken. But could we garner a little cofidence in the system by not putting an old ladder in it??

There is absolutely nothing Super about the Super-80.

I believe one of our stewerdesses (that's right I said stewardess) is the chick from that old Star Trek episodes where different colored subterranean brains bet 500 Quatloos on Captain Kirk. She later went on to do porn. Now she's a stewardess.

No wifi. :(

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Enjoying the Good Life

One of the nice perks of the new job is getting put in the lottery for the owners Stars/Mavs tickets whenever they don't want to go. I won on only my second try. Yay me!

After stuffing my face with free Platinum Level buffet, I finally made it to my seat with the Stars up 4-0 with a few minutes left in the first period.

Good Times!

-- Post From My iPhone

Which One Are You?

The Gervais Principle, Or The Office According to “The Office”

The Gervais Principle is this:

Sociopaths, in their own best interests, knowingly promote over-performing losers into middle-management, groom under-performing losers into sociopaths, and leave the average bare-minimum-effort losers to fend for themselves.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Live Blogging Muse/U2 Concert

Pre-Game : I just saw that Muse is opening for U2 for only a small portion of this tour. The poor suckers in OKC will have to sit through the wretched Black Eyed Peas.

6:58 - it's big

7:05. First disappointment. Jalapeño chips were not made of jalapenos

7:06. Beer burger chips. $24. Take that bin Laden!!

7:18. Finally seated

7:25. Green chile Kobe burger C+. BBQ Kobe burger B+.

7:26. Lidia tries to negotiate the giant Kobe Burger.

7:30. Muse takes the stage

8:15. Muse is off. Hopefully they save the better speakers for U2. The sound was very muddle. And a little disappointment there was no Knights of Cydonia since that's my official song of the Star's 2008 playoff run.

8:30. Oh dear. Whooing drunken cougars right behind us. To me while shoving her ticket in my face "Are we in the right seats. Why am I asking you? Men don't know directions. "

8:35. Everyone here has an iPhone and are simultaneously uploading pictures of the stage. So "live" blogging may not be so live from here out.

9:05. U2 goes on

9:10 Bono twirls around arms akimbo absorbing the adulation of the sycophantic crowd

9:30 Oh no. Bono looks like he's in pain. Wait. Nevermind.

9:44. Energy gets sucked right out of the building as they spare us to death with something from the new album. Drunk dudes in front of us still love it.

10:04. Place is shaking to Vertigo

10:12. Bono dons a crumpled cowboy hat.

10:13. Bono removes crumpled cowboy hat. I guess there are things even too douchey for him.

11:00. It's over after two encores

Overall, great concert. I would probably been even better at a smaller venue or an outdoor arena. Even during songs I wasn't much interested in, the place was hopping and full of energy. I'm not sure too many bands could pull of such an entertaining performance in the cavern that is Jerry's fully operation battle station.


King Wally suggests you go see them before they leave town.


Well, kinda.

I've been away from the blog biz now for a sufficient amount of time to now be practically chomping at the bit to spread my snark throughout this great land of ours (and parts of Canada and Germany).

So prepare to be literarily dazzled by my live blogging of tonight's Muse concert featuring some drunken Irish pop combo at Darth Jerry's Death Star.

Next week will feature my adventures in Washington DC where I try to get a one on one interview with Nobel Peace Prize and future Heisman Trophy award winner Barack Obama. Afterward, I wonder up to Burlington/Waterbury Vermont and try to find the perfect pancake.