Live Blogging NFL Week 17: Cowboys @ Giants

 
This isn’t going to be pretty I fear.  And I mean both my live blogging, which I haven’t done in quite a while, and the Cowboys whose defense can’t stop any QB without a broken throwing arm.

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First Quarter

14:55	So far so good.  No major fuckups on the kickoff return.
13:35	Ugh.  Dez misreads another pass.  If there’s a dumber player in the NFL it’s MartyB.
13:13	Apparently Darrell “DJ” “Moose" Johnston just walked into the building.
10:42	I’m already bored.  Even an episode of Dexter would be a relief.
10:29	Wow.  Cowboy’s D makes a play on 3rd and less than 1.
9:55	Dez muffs the punt.  Which is just about the funniest sentence in football.
9:48	Felix with the first down run for a first down.  Which is a decidedly an unfunny sentence.
8:45	It looks like Doug Free dropped his purse and was unable to block Pierre-Paul.
7:46	Awesome punt by Jones to pin Giants on their 4.
6:59	YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.  Make a fucking tackle TNew
4:57	TD Giants.  Cruz with the TD Reception.  Unbelievable.  TNew sucks.  This team does not deserve to go the playoffs with a starting DB of that caliber.
Dallas NY	0 7
3:25	Romo sacked again.  Hey Kosier, if you’re standing around not blocking anyone, you might be a shitty offensive lineman.
2:54	Alan Ball, no doubt contemplating another horrible season of True Blood, can’t come up with the muffed punt.  That’s starting to be less funny.
1:05	Thomas with his third catch of the season.  Of course it was against TNew.  I’m beginging to think that I could get a couple of receptions if I lined up against him.  What?  Don’t laugh.  I’ve been working out.  Honest.
0:15	Ball in for TNew.  I’m not sure that’s too much of an improvement.
0:01	Pass Interference on Ball.  But at least he was in the same zip code as the receiver.
Dallas NY	0 7

 

Second Quarter

13:27	TD Giants.  6 yard run by Bradshaw.  And another missed tackle by the Cowboys
Dallas NY	00 14
12:40	Jones runs for a loss of 3.  The OLine is competing with the DBs for the worst area of the team.
11:55	OL in the lead with another sack of Romo.  Hey, guys,  the idea is to keep the guys in blue out of your backfield.
9:13	UNBELIEVABLE.  Three Cowboys could have recovered that fumble and it just bounces into Eli’s hands.
8:30	It’s a bad time to be a Dallas sports fan.  Mavericks lose big to Minn tonight.  At least the Stars are in first place in their division.  Go Stars!
7:29	Field goal by Giants is no good.  The comeback is on!!!!   I can’t even type that with a straight face.
7:15	Dez finally does something tonight besides look lost with an 11 yard catch.
7:15	It’s good see that Robert Downey Jr.  hasn’t sold out.
6:15	From @TweetGrubes -- Report: Justin Tuck leaves game with sprained taint.
5:00	Brilliant play by Romo except for the part where he threw the ball beyond the line of scrimmage
4:35	Another dumb penalty by Ball.
2:00	From @TweetGrubes -  Report: Alan Ball also leaves game with sprained taint.#onemoremakesitanepidemic
1:17	TNew with the whiiiiffff.
1:09	TD Giants.  Another missed tackle leads to a TD.
Dallas NY	00 21
0:00	Bailey with a missed 51 yard FG
Dallas NY	00 21

 

Third Quarter

15:00	Somebody had asparagus for dinner.
14:09	Dallas DBs look as lost as my carkeys last night.
11:55	Ball has an uncanny ability to miss making any kind of footbal play on the football field, as Eli steps up to avoid the sack.
4:28	TD Dallas.  Robinson with the reception.  94 yard drive.
Dallas NY	07 21
6:30	The Dallas defensive front is getting less penetration than The Jester at a Girls With Low Self Esteem and Daddy Issues convention.
5:55	And as soon as I write that, the Cowboys finally sack Manning.
4:17	Has Austin been getting catching lessons from TO?
4:07	Ugh.  INT by Rolle .   Romo getting a bit too cute.  It hurts to miss that one.
4:07	Whitney is moving to Wednesdays??  WTF??  What am I supposed to do on Thursday nights now??
3:27	Is this game/season over yet?
2:33	Highlarryass.  Cowboys recover a fumble negated by an offsides.
2:23	Dallas with a huuuuge stop on 4th down.  Lee with the big hit.
0:41	Witten is such a baddass.  I love it when he barrels over DBs for extra yardage.
Dallas NY	07 21

 

Fourth Quarter

13:56	Jason Garret once again shows his football acumen with his calling of a QB sneak on fourth down with a QB with a very sore hand.  Just because you went to Princeton doesn't mean you're smart.  It is, afterall, the Ivy League school in New Jersey.
13:05	Whoa!  TNew acts like a tackler and not a hurdle for once.
10:15	TD Cowboys!!  6 yard reception by Robinson.  How is this even happening?
Dallas NY	14 21
10:08	Hey!  There's a Shameless marathon on Showtime!   I think I'll switch over.
10:04	Ratliff channels Mutumbo and rejects the Manning pass to half court.
9:04	HOW DOES THAT FUCKING HAPPEN??  Cruz catches a 40 yard prayer from Manning.  And BTW, Cruz is eating your lunch all game and you have him one-on-one with Scandrick???
6:51	Ware finally with a meaningful fourth quarter sack.
5:55	This would be a good time for Coughlin to ice his kicker.
5:50	FG Giants.  That'll just about do it.
Dallas NY	14 24
5:39	Oh, and let's not forget to congratulate Rob Ryan and his defense for once again spitting the bit when a much needed stop is, well, much needed very much.
5:29	Romo sacked for the fifth time.  So the OLine is doing their part to thwart the comeback.
5:03	Well that was a pathetic three-and-out.
3:46	TNew beat again. Nicks from Manning down to the Dallas 4.
3:46	TNew looks like he seriously pulled his taint on that play.  And may have to undergo season ending taint surgery.  Good think he made sure the season would end tonight.
3:41	TD Giants.  4 yard pass from Manning to Nicks.  Game Over.  Season Over.  Goodnight Everybody!
Dallas NY	14 31
1:41	Romo fumbles forced by Tuck recovered by the Giants.  The game’s really over now.
Dallas NY	14 31
	Final

Live Blogging NFL Week 17: Cowboys @ Eagles

I’m only doing this for Jason and to get my blog numbers up from 2010.  That can’t be hard since I only had 87 in 2010 and most of those were silly Amazon gift ideas. 

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This week's live blogging is brought to you by:

The letter Z	and by the number 7

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Pregame

Does anyone know if this is the first time an Aggie quarterback has started a game in the NFL?  Did Bucky Richardson ever start with the Oilers? 

Well, it turns out Bucky started four games in 1994 with a passer rating in the low 50s.  So I’m going to say this is the first time an Aggie passing quarterback has ever started a game in the NFL.

And let’s all pray to sweet clean baby jebus that the Cowboys don’t screw up and win this game and thus ruin their draft positioning.

Q1

13:35:  McGee to Austin for a 30+ yard gain on a screen.  The first two plays went to Jones for nothing or a loss.   What happened to Felix.  The Philly D is littered with taxi squad players and he can’t make a move for just a little gain?

12:30: Handoff to Jones for 12.   See, all I have to do is dog a player and he shows improvement.  Once I stopped doing these live blogs and thus stopped dogging Roy Williams, he returned to form.

11:50:Choice on the Wildcat, gain of 4.  Please stop this nonsense.  I want to see more Choice, but not if it means more wildcat.  And, yes, I know they call it the Razorback with Choice.

11:18:  End-around to Austin, loss of 9.  Two trick plays in a row for a total loss of 5.  This game means nothing.  Let’s see what McGee can do and stop with the tricks.

6:28:  Handoff to Choice for 1.  Three handoffs in a row to start the Cowboys’ second possession.  Again, what does this prove?  Let’s see what McGee can do!  Everybody now.  Let’s see what McGee can do!

4:10:  McGee sacked, loss of 7.  Hey, at least they let him do something.  But he needs to learn to get rid of  the ball sooner.  Hopefully he has learned his lesson.

3:50:  McGee to MartyB, gain of 3.  Aggie on Aggie action.  Hot!

2:53:  McGee with an Intentional Grounding penalty.  Again, I would rather see this than another three yard handoff to Jones.

At the end of the quarter, it’s a scintillating nil to nil draw.  How do you like my soccer speak?

 

Q2

14:53:  Touchdown Eagles.  Kolb to Hall on First and Goal on the 4.  Phil 7  Dal 0

14:47:  Handoff to Jones for 20.  Keep running this play.  Geez, offensive coordinating isn’t that tough.  Now call the touchdown play and we’re back in it.

13:40:  Wildcat with Choice for a gain of 1.  Guh.

13:05:  I’m now convinced that Garret wants McGee to fail.  You can see he’s a big nervous about his protection.  He’s looking at blitzers more than his receivers.  So what does the red Genius do – Empty Backfield. 

11:28:  Touchdown Cowboys.  Spencer causes Kolb to fumble, picked up by Ware for TD.  Dal 7  Phil 7. 

6:20:  Handoff to Jones, no gain.  Guh.

4:58:  McGee to Manny Johnson, gain of 8.  Who??  It was a nice throw on to Johnson in coverage.  But not enough for a first down.

0:34:  Ware sacks Kolb.  I’m only blogging defensive plays in which Ware does something big, it appears.

0:23:  McCann muffs the punt.  Giggle.

0:17:  Ware sacks Kolb.  This may push the Eagles out of FG range.

0:09: Ware hurries Kolb to throw out of bounds.  This should have been a grounding penalty.

0:00 INT by Sensabaugh on the hail mary into the endzone.

At the half, Dallas 7  Philadelphia 7.

 

During halftime, please visit my fine sponsor, Amazon.com.  Of course if you’re the douchebag that begged me to do this live-blogging you’re reading this from your douchebag RSS reader and don’t see my sponsor banners.

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Q3

13:00:  I look foreword to not having to witness Keith Brookings’ terrible coverage, bad penalties and obnoxious pregame rants next year. 

12:08:  INT Terrance Newman.

12:02:  Handoff to Jones for 14.  Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

10:47;  32 Yards from McGee to Austin.  See, just give him a chance to make a play.

10:19:  Dropped pass by Choice.  MUST BE CAUGHT!

10:14:  McGee to Williams, gain of 6.  Roy is still playing?

9:33:  McGee to Austin too low.  Over on downs.  Oh well.

6:36:  The ridiculousness of this game is causing me to lose enthusiasm for this live blogging.  Each team at this point has 7 points and 6 punts. 

4:44:  McGee to Williams, dropped.  The amazingly inept hands of Roy Williams.  That pretty much epitomizes his career as a Cowboy.

3:35:  McGee on a QB keeper for a first down.  The kid is playing hard.  It’s not going to be for lack of effort on his part that Dallas loses.  Lack of ability, perhaps. But that can come with more practice.

3:00:  Wildcat again.  Guh, again.

Another exciting nil-nil quarter.  Dallas 7  Philadelphia 7.

Q4

15:00;  Can we have a running clock for the rest of the game??

14:55:  Hatcher sacks Kolb to force a FG attempt.

14:25:  FG Eagles.  43 yards by Akers.  Phil 10  Dal 7.

14:09:  McGee to MartyB on a deflection by Jones.  First down.  I like how Garret gets Jones involved in the offense in innovative ways.

11:46:  McGee on a QB keeper, gain of 12 – first down.  Wow.  He’s having trouble make accurate throws right now, but McGee is busting his ass trying to keep the chains moving.

10:30:  I also look forward to not see MB3 rumble and stumble for a gain of 1 next year.

9:45:  Buehler misses from 52 yards.  What exactly is his range?  At least he’s consistent.  He misses from close and from far.

9:34:  Kolb to Hall for a bazillion yards.  How do you let the little white guy behind you?  I’m looking at you TNew.

7:01:  FG Eagles.  22 yards by Akers.  Phil 13  Dal 7.

1:28:  McGee to Witten for 32 yards.  What great effort by JWitt.

0:55:  TD Cowboys.  McGee to Witten.  Dal 14 Phil 13.  Buehler makes the PAT.

0:55:  Okay.  The Cowboys are on the verge of fucking this thing up and winning and dropping in the draft.  Hopefully the defense will do what they’ve done all year and give up a huge play late in the game.

0:50: Ware sacks Kolb for the third time.  That’s not a good start for a high draft pick.

0:32:  INT TNew to seal the deal.  I guess it’s better for Jerry to fuck up a middle of the first round pick than a top of the first round pick. 

Well, I’m glad that’s over with.  Join me this Spring when I live blog the entire season of the Western Conference Champion FC Dallas.  Is that even correct?  Do they have conferences in MSL?  And how many games is that?  Oh, good Christ what have I agreed to.

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Live Blogging NFL Week 3: Cowboys @ Texans

Pregame:  Don’t expect much of me today.  I’m still hungover from the Rangers clinching the American League West celebration.

Pregame:  And don’t expect much from the Cowboys.  The players are the same and, more importantly the coaches are the same.  Prediction:  Texans 35  Cowboys 24.

Q1 14:15  - No Roy Williams on the second play.  And it goes for 14 and a first down.

Q1 13:31 – No Roy again and another successful play to MartyB.

Q1 13:01 – I didn’t notice on the first play, but it appears Dez is the second WR.

Q1 11:10 – I went back to rewatch the first play of this drive, and Roy was on the field.  But it appears he’s not been in since.

Q1 10:55 – Roy was in that play.  I’m not sure why you would run that with Choice and not MB3.

Q1 10:15 – I feel like Felix would have busted that for far more yardage a year or two ago. He’s lucky to have gotten the first down.

Q1 8:53 – Too many men in the backfield??  I’ve seen that movie.

Q1 8:18 – Is Witten still concussed.  He had two of the three penalties on that drive.  Oh, and three penalties on your opening drive does little to show that any improvement on that front was achieved.  THIS TEAM SUCKS.  It can’t help but get in its own way.

Q1 6:00 – That was Ware racing from rushing the QB to tripping up the RB downfield.  Awesome.

Q1 5:20 – And now he has a sack.  At least someone came to play today.

Q1 2:55 – MartyB is the dumbest football player in the NFL.  And 3rd & 3 is a passing down and you only had one WR (Miles Austin) on the field??  I don’t consider Roy a WR since he does very little receiving.  And then you send MB3 out wide??  And your brilliant play is to get it MartyB?  Jason Garret you kill me with your comedic play callings.

Q1 2:21 – Great play by Sensabaugh to break up what looked to be a big gainer.

Q1 1:20 – Early on it appears the Texans are targeting Terrance Newman.

End Of The First Quarter – Dallas 0  Houston 0

Q2 14:16 – SERIOUSLY??  3rd and 19 and they give up with a draw and you let them make the first down??

Q2 11:09 – Way to hold them to a FG after giving up that unconscionable 3rd and 19.

Q2 11:06 – FG Texans [Hou 3  Dal 0]

Q2 11:06 – So, Miller Lite, by Triple Hops Brewed, you mean that three hops buds were used in the entire decades production of your flavorless swill??  Who’s doing your marketing these days?  The people that care about hops aren’t going to drink your dreck.

Q2 10:50 – Nice play once again negated by a stupid penalty.

Q2 9:40 – I would be remiss to not mention that Roy makes his first catch of the game.

Q2 8:55 – And now his second for a big first down.  Still no throws to Austin.

Q2 6:59 – Nice try for the home run to Dez.

Q2 6:52 – Where have you been Dez Bryant.  All he does is make plays.

Q2 5:40 – Roy again with a tough catch for a first down.

Q2 5:03 – Wha?  You’re gonna throw across the field to the dumbest player in the NFL?  How is that a good idea.  Cowboys are lucky that didn’t get picked off.

Q2 4:55 – I’ve just about had it with the delayed draw.

Q2 4:09 – Wow.  What effort by Austin to get it down to the 1.

Q2 3:36 – TD MB3 [Dal 7  Hou 3]

Q2 1:55 – Ware with his second sack of the game to force a punt.

Q2 0:27 – Ugh.  Another play canceled by an offensive penalty.

Q2 0:01 – This is exciting 1 second left for Buehler to try to miss the FG.  Prepare to be frustrated with a timeout just as Buehler attempts the miss.

Q2 0:00 – FG Dallas to everyone’s surprise.  How was that not a delay of game penalty??

End of the first Half [Dallas 10 Houston 3]

Q3 11:00 – Come on Dallas.  Let’s stop them here.  Stop giving them big plays on third down.

Q3 10:20 – Woo hoo.  Sack by Ratliff.

Q3 8:19 – Well that didn’t go well.

Q3 6:15 – This has turned into the first two games for the Cowboys where I go near comatose with boredom during the third quarter.

Q3 5:46 – I nice defense stand negated by a dumb play by Jenkins.

Q3 5:36 – But he makes up for it the next play with an interception, the first take-away by the Cowboys of the year.  How is that even possible?

Q3 5:30 – Ok, the delayed draw worked that time.  But still…

Q3 4:55 – That doesn’t mean we have to do it again.  Geez.

Q3 3:25 – WTF.  Sam Hurd??  Where has he been?  Nice catch.

Q3 2:41 – Nice catch by Dez and a nicer tackle by the camera man.

Q3 2:10 – MartyB with a "smart” first down.  Way to find the open space Marty.

Q3 1:34 – TD Roy Williams.  Is this his best game as a Cowboy?  That’s quite a catch by Roy.  He went up and got it where Romo put it and where the DB couldn’t get it. [Dal 17  Hou 3]

Q3 1:34 – This was also easily the best drive of the season for the Cowboys.  90 yards after the Mike Jenkins interception.  Is this the moment the season turns around for Dallas?

Q3 1:28 – Has all the field goal practice weakened Buehler’s leg?  Still no touchbacks this year.

Q3 1:22 – Now can the defense provide a much needed shutdown inning.

Q3 0:54 – Wow that Foster can run in open space.  Let’s not let that happen again, ok?

Q3 0:11 – Rut roh.  Ratliff coming off gimpy.

End of the Third Quarter [Dallas 17  Houston 3]

Q4 12:34 – Cowboys got lucky with the offsetting penalties.  Brooking has looked lost all season in coverage.  Maybe his pregame rants are taking their toll on him. 

Q4 12:30 – I need to bad mouth more players.  It seems like each time I do they make a huge play.  Huge sack and sack up by Brooking and a huge goal line stand by the Cowboys.  Houston had it 1st and 10 at the half yard line and the Cowboys’ D kept pushing the Texans backwards.

Q4 12:25 – FG Houston [Dal 17 Hou 6]

Q4 11:30 – Not good.  Kosar out with an injury.

Q4 11:00 – And now no gain on a run.

Q4 9:54 – TD Roy Williams.  My Main Man is having a career day. [Dal 24 Hou 6]

Q4 9:04 – Fumbled by Foster recovered by Newman.  Another takeaway by the Dallas Defense.

Q4 8:11 – First down MB3.   Run it and Run it and Run it…..

Q4 5:13 – First down Dez Bryant on 4th down.  It looks so easy today.

Q4 3:40 – FG Buehler.  Everything is working today!  [Dal  27 Hou 6]

Q4 1:15 – Meaningless TD Houston  [Dal 27 Hou 13]

Q4 1:12 – Onsides kick recovered by Houston thanks to another dumb play by MartyB.

Q4 0:36 – Dallas gets their third turnover of the day.  Game over.

End of Game Dallas 27  Houston 13

Live Blogging Eagles @ Cowboys

Pregame – Yay! Finally a game back on Fox with Troy and Joe!

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Q1 15:00 – Fuck this.  There’s a The Bad Girls Club marathon on Oxygen.

Q1 15:00 – Cowboys win the toss – game over!!!

Q1 14:20 – MB3 has come to play.  32 yards on second down.  That’s got to be his longest run of the season.  Certainly in a long time.

Q1 13:34 – Leonard Davis brings us our first False Start of the game.  1st & 15.

Q1 12:39 – Ugh.  I always clench up when they go empty backfield. 

Q1 12:35 – Pass Interference.  First Down!!

Q1 12:28 – How do you not exploit an LB on Austin. If Philly is going to put a CB on Witten, you gotta make them pay somewhere else.  Look for that later.

Q1 12:21 – MB3!  MB3!!  Another first down!

Q1 11:15 – Felix Jones?? Really??  MB3 is already tired and needs a rest?

Q1 10:35 – TD Witten!! [Dal 7  Phil 0]

Q1 10:35 – Wow.  What a kickoff from Buehler.  He hasn’t been getting as many touchbacks the second half of the season. 

Q1 9:32 – Brady James with the sack and a nice defensive with the three-and-out.  The Eagles score a lot of point on opening drives and in the first quarter.  It’s good to see the defense give them nothing on their first drive.

Q1 9:32 – Question of the game:  Will I watch Human Target just because Six is on the show?

Q1 8:55 – Catch by TE Phillips.  Is Marty B dropping in the depth charts?

Q1 8:11 – Nice burst from Jones for the first down.

Q1 6:55 – Interesting play with Marty B going wide and Felix getting thrown short on the other side.  It was good for a first down.

Q1 6:20 – Marty B with our second False Start.

Q1 5:30 – It’s the Marty B show.  This time, he loses his helmet.

Q1 4:50 – WOW.  Great catch from Austin!  That was thrown hard by Romo to thwart the blitz.

Q1 2:00 – INT Hansen.  Creighton has got to make that catch.  Dallas cannot give up points like this.

Q1 0:40 – You can’t give McNabb that much time. 

End of the First Quarter [Dal 7  Phil 0]

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Q2 15:00 Dallas looked great dominating the first quarter, but have only 7 points to show for it.  This is a powerful Eagles offense.  Dallas can’t give away points like that and hope to win.

Q2 14:13 – Phew!  McNabb missed Jackson for the easy score.

Q2 14:03 – Barbie looked lost giving up that third down conversion. 

Q2 12:52 – Jenkins makes his first great play of the day.  There will be more.

Q2 12:50 – Ha.  that netted nothing.

Q2 12:44 – Phew #2.  Maclin should have had that and maybe even scored.

Q2 12:44 – Geez.  What confusion on the Eagles punt team.  To someone go take a crap thinking the first down was made?

Q2 11:42 – Witten may make it to 100 catches today if the Eagles are going to keep giving him the underneath.

Q2 11:04 – False snap??

Q2 10:30 – Creighton makes up for his earlier non catch.  How was he so open??

Q2 8:28 –Joe Buck said it best.  “Austin fights for the ball.”  What a great catch for 40 yards.

Q2 7:50 – Oh, shit.  Someone broke the Ump.

Q2 6:18 – TD Creighton. [Dal 14  Phil 0].  The funny part of this play was that I too was faked out by Romo’s pump fake to Roy Williams.  I screamed “NO!!!!”.  Then the throw over the CB to Creighton and I yelled “YES!!!!”.  Good times.

Q2 6:05 – What the hell?  Lots of confusion presnap on the Dallas defense.  Call a fucking time out.

Q2 5:25 – Where can I get an MP3 of Fox’s injury timeout music?

Q2 5:02 – Yikes.  Long catch and run by Jackson.  Let’s not cut the lead in half.

Q2 4:39 – Fumble Recovery Ratlif – Bad snap.  Ratlif recovers.  Well that will keep them from scoring.

Q2 4:28 – Phillips again.  It’s real simple.  Phillips makes catches and Marty B looks lost.  Sorry to throw a fellow Ag under the bus.

Q2 3:05 – Creighton again with a great catch on a slant.

Q2 2:25 – It went Dallas’ way.  But if you’re going to call Roughing the Passer on that, then maybe the QBs should carry a box of tampons just to complete the outfit.  I’ve seen more contact at a Catholic School Dance [stolen from Norm].

Q2 1:09 – OMG.  Seriously Roy???  You have no fucking clue where the ball is going??  Put in Ogletree.

Q2 1:04 – FG Suisham [Dal 17  Phil 0]

Q2 0:47 – Jenkins makes a play even when he doesn’t make a play by getting a Personal Foul penalty on Philly.

Q2 0:25 – Eagles receivers aren’t giving McNabb any help.  Can RoyWiliamsitis be contagious?

Q2 0:14 – I believe that’s Barbie’s first tackle of the day as he forces Westbrook out of bounds.

Q2 0:03 – Hey, back to back Barbie tackles.  And this time he keeps Westbrook in bounds to run out the clock.

End of First Half [ Dallas 17 Philadelphia 0]

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And now for a word from out half time sponsors.

Come on.  Buy something.  Daddy needs his medicine.

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Q3 14:50 – Oops.  Alan Ball goes in for an injured TNew

Q3 13:27 – Celik open again for a long gain.  How does that happen??

Q3 12:45 – Wow.  Nice play by Hamlin to bat away the pass.  Yes that was Offensive Pass Interference.

Q3 11:59 – Another dropped 3rd down pass.  It would have been a tough catch, but Celik has been McNabb’s only reliable receiver today.

Q3 11:54 – FG MISSED [Dal 17   Phil 0]

Q3 10:33 – A ticky tack penalty causes Dallas’ first punt of the day.

Q3 10:22 – Six Feet Under’s Alan Ball make a great tackle on the punt returner.  That’s right, I’m recycling jokes.  Another of my New Year’s resolutions is to be more Green and less Blue with my comedy.

Q3 9:13 – Another three-and-out by Philly and their receivers are getting banged up.

Q3 8:13 – Marty B with the drop.  What is it with big tall receivers from big Texas universities that look completely lost?

Q3 7:59 – Another 3-n-Out by Dallas.  Let’s not get complacent guys.

Q3 7:17 – I know the lines that Fox draws on the field aren’t official, but Anthony Spencer looked offsides on this play.

Q3 6:54 – Another Philly 3-n-Out.  All of a sudden this a defensive struggle.  And, yes, I’m taking suggestions on how to write 3-and-Out.  Anyone?

Q3 5:46 – TD Felix Jones [Dal 24 Phil 0]  Wow watta run!  That’s the Felix Jones we all remember and will need for an extended playoff run.  And that was Doug Free blocking downfield.  Nice!

Q3 5:18 – Sack by Spencer.  He’s one of the biggest reason for the great defense lately.  But I thought the Ref blew his whistle too early.  McNabb is strong enough to get out of those predicaments and should be allowed to.

Q3 2:30 – More Ogletree please!  In this one play, he was smarter than all of Roy Williams plays put together.  Does that even make sense??

Q3 1:19 – Witten for the long first down catch.  It’s getting to be ridiculous.

Q3 0:00 – Does no one think to cover the slow white dude with 95 catches??

End of Third Quarter [Dallas 24  Philadelphia 0]  Delicious!!!

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Q4 14:02  -  Ouch.  That screen was sniffed out like eightball at a fashion show.

Q4 12:33 – FG Missed by Suisham.  Maybe it’s the goalposts at the Death Star.

Q4 11:55 – Nice sack by Hatcher without his helmet.

Q4 11:36 – WOW.  That’s about as good of coverage I’ve ever seen.  Mike Jenkins is a man among girls.  I gotta think that McNabb was already putting those 7 points on the board in his head.  Jackson was open and Jenkins closed strong to bat the ball away.  Just plain awesome.

Q4 11:30 – Please stop showing the Bud Light commercial where the redhead uses the air gun to secure a boutonniere.

Q4 10:40 – Who would have predicted that it would take three and a third quarters before Philly sacked Romo?  Nostradomus, that’s who.

Q4 8:47 – What is Romo still doing in??  Can’t Kitna handoff??

Q4 7:40 – And Austin shouldn’t be playing either.  Let’s see some Kitna to Hurd!

Q4 4:50 – Creighton.  Yeah.  I don’t have much left.  Just end this game.

Q4 2:05 – This is just crazy keeping these players in when this game is practically over and the playoffs start next weekend.

Q4  2:00 – Yes.  I’m losing interest.  But not my love of Amazon.com.  After the game, how about you read a nice book.

Q4 1:37 – Jenkins defends the 4th down TD attempt and preserves the shutout.  The first ever back-to-back shutouts by the Cowboys.  Good times.

End of Game {Dallas 24  Philadelphia 0]

It’s playoff time.

Live Blogging Cowboys @ Redskins

I’m sorry I couldn’t do this for the New Orleans game, that was one great game.  But Winter League got in the way.  Barring any potential Winter League or Van Morrison conflict, I do intend to blog all of the remaining Cowboy games.

Pregame:  Yeah NBC!  If Buck and Aikman aren’t doing a Cowboy game, Michaels and Collinsworth are the second best play-by-play/color duo. 

Pregame: Thumbs up on the Bob Costas interview of DeMarcus Ware cause I loves me some DeMarcus Ware.  I just wish I could find the Hard Knocks video of him doing “Head Shoulders Knees & Toes” with his baby girl.  It’s a touching to watch the soft side of a man that breaks quarterbacks for a living.

Pregame: Mmmmmmmmmm leftover Spanish Casserole.

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Q1 15:00 Fuck this, The Wizard of Oz is on TNT.

Q1 15:00 Uh Oh.  Romo Shark sighting. Foobball Foobball Foobball Foobball Foobball Foobball Foobball

Q1 14:45 Anthony Spencer picks up from his terrific game last week with a 4 yrd loss.

Q1 14:10 And then no one covers Ganther in the middle for a first down.

Q1 13:10 Seriously, Ref, how do you miss that hold of Ratliff??

Q1 12:20 INT Terrance Newman!! 

Q1 12:07 WHY?  WHY? Even bother looking Roy Williams’ way??

Q1 11:15  Nice catch by Creighton to pick up the first down.

Q1 8:34 TD Roy Williams!!!!  Dude made a play! But Romo made an amazing throw and scrambled to keep the play alive.  It looked like maybe the play was supposed to go to Austin, who was double covered.

[Dal 7 Wash 0]

Q1 8:35 Hamlin bit on the play fake for the easy first down.

Q1 8:10 More great coverage by Jenkins.  Probably shouldn’t be Offensive Pass Interference.  But I’ll take it.

Q1 7:13 Hello Mr. Campbell, my name is Jay, Jay Ratliff.

Q1 6:56  I can understand Axe Men being on the Discovery Channel, but on the History Channel??   Seriously, what does luberjacking have to do with Hitler?

Q1 5:35  Well that was a disappointing three-and-out.  Creighton needs to make that catch.

Q1 5:20  Heroes is still on??

Q1 4:45 The Umpire should have been called for pass interference instead of Ware for holding.

Q1 2:31 Well, no wonder Spencer hurried the pass.  He was offsides.  Dangit, I was writing this as Collinsworth was saying it.

Q1 0:19 Great tackle by Brady James to prevent the first down and to begin the next half with a punt.

End Of First Quarter Dal 7  Wash 0

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Q2 14:44 Sweet run by Felix Jones.  Loved the 360 pirouette.

Q2 12:24 Witten just short of a first down.  Hey, guys, lets not keep the Deadskins in this.  Let’s do to them what we did to their namesakes – steal their land and let them build giant casinos in return.  I’m not really sure how this metaphor will work football-wise.  Sometimes you go down a comedic hole and you just don’t know how to get out.

Q2 12:12 Great play by Moss cutting back for a big gain.  This is why you can’t keep these guys in this game.  Any NFL team is capable of a big play.  Oh, and that was Ware downfield for the tackle.  The guy is awesome.

Q2 10:29  Our first Barbie Carpenter sighting with pressure on Campbell for the incompletion.

Q2 8:55  WOW.  What a great catch and run by Witten.  Too bad he ran out of gas before he could score.

Q2 8:00 TD Marion Barber. 

[Dal 14  Wash 0]

Q2 7:50 Nice tackle by Hamlin.  I was afraid he was gonna break that dude.

Q2 6:39 Really Redskins??  3rd and 4, down by 14 and you try a draw.  I guess you have to try it, but did you think it would work?

Q2 6:05 Does any good beer advertise besides Guinness??

Q2 5:05 WOW.  Romo at his best.  Avoid a sack, scrambles and finds Austin for a first down.

Q2 4:22 What the fuck was that???  STOP WITH THE WILDCAT!!

Q2 3:28 INT Doughty.  That interception is on Roy.  The dude is a fucking pussy on any ball not thrown perfectly.  It was high, but it was in his hands.  Fucking Longhorn.

Q2 3:17 Not a fumble, but what is Campbell doing?  You’re defense just got you the ball back in fairly good field position and you almost give it right back.

Q2 2:00 They just don’t trust Campbell on third down.  Last series the ran a draw. This one they ran a short screen that the Dallas defense sniffed out early.

Q2 1:12 To take it to the next level, Austin needs to stop dropping passes like this one.  Still, at least he makes plays, right Roy??

Q2 0:38 Unfuckingbelievable.  Roy, catch the ball, then look.

Q2 0:00 Well that was a sloppy ending to a 2 minute drill.

End of First Half Dal 14  Wash 0

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Q3 14:53 More Ogletree, please!  [Stolen from Ben Rogers’ Facebook status earlier in the week]

Q3 14:00 Austin is starting to light up.

Q3 12:15 Razorback again??  UGH!

Q3 10:50 Barber stuffed two plays in a row.  Seriously, guys.  Let’s not let them think they have a chance.  I know it’s hindsight, but would some play action and a short pass to Austin have worked?  They’re gonna load up for Barber.

Q3 7:07 Ouch!  Scandrick put a hurt on Campbell.  Sack?  They didn’t really rule whether his arm was moving forward.

Q3 6:35  I hate to say it about an Aggie, but Marty B needs to mix in a quality catch. 

Q3 4:45 Cowboys taking what the Redskins are giving.  Presnap, both safeties were way off the line.  Making it obvious to run and Jones picked up 8.

Q3 3:30 On Jerry Jones’ hardon for Wade Phillips:  “I want that feeling ratified by some success.”  Highlarryass!!

Q3 2:50 Washington D is playing only to stop the big play with safeties playing deep.  Makes sense on 3rd and 15, but 1st and10???

Q3 1:26  Sam Hurd gets thrown to for the only time this week.

Q3 0:50 Barber stuffed again on 4th down.  Again, easy to second guess.  But there was a lot of moving parts on that run.

Q3 0:43 TNew, make the fucking tackle.

End of Third Quarter [Dal 14  Wash 0]

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Q4 15:00 OK, guys.  I’m not feeling real good about this.  I seem to remember a game a few years ago where the Cowboys had a comfortable 10 point lead.  Then Santana Moss ripped off a couple of long TD receptions and we were all crying in our pizza rolls.

Q4 14:57  Brady James has had a good game.  That’s all.  Just thought it need to be pointed out since he was there in coverage.

Q4 14:51 Shouldn’t Ware get credited with a sack since he caused the intentional grounding??  Not that Ware needs the stat boost.  But if you were a backup DLer and you had a chance for a sack and the fucking QB threw it away.  That sack stat sure would look good at contract negotiating time.

Q4 11:20 Now’s the time in the game when we run the ball down your fucking throat.

Q4 10:27 Bad news—someone just broke our Tashard.  The good news:  no more Wildcat!!!!

Q4 9:10 MB3 TIME!

Q4 8:40 Ugh.  3rd & 4th and 1 has been way too hard tonight.

Q4 7:44 FG DALLAS [Dal 17 – Wash 0] Suisham makes his first kick as a Cowboy.

Q4 6:36 Nice tackle by Barbie to Cartwright in bounds and keep the clock rolling.  See, I can say nice things about players I don’t like. 

Q4  6:04 Brooking has also had a good game.  He seemed to slump a bit recently.  But has come back strong the last two games.

Q4  5:48 Time Out Washington.  Huh??  Why drag this boring game out any longer than it has to be?  I know you’re trying to save precious seconds just in case Campbell can mount a comeback.  But, come on. 

Q4 5:42  Good TO, Redskins.  You held MB3 to only 12 yards.

Q4 5:02 Oh, good Christ, another time out?? You haven’t thrown the ball more than 15 yards all night.  How are you going to mount a comeback??

Q4 4:57 Mercifully, Washington’s final time out.

Q4 2:00 ‘skins, you know you need three scores, right?  You might want to pick up the pace.

Q4 1:32 Washington Redskins:  The Two Minute Drill of the Boring

Q4 0:50 Second sack for Ratliff. BEAST!

Q4 0:26 Wash turns on downs.  Thanks again for wasting my time with those time outs.

Q4 0:00 Dallas is in the Playoffs!

End of Game [Dallas 17 Washington 0]