Friday, February 27, 2009

Contact Your State Representatives, Seriously!!

There is legislation winding its way through our state capitol that would allow our state's nascent microbreweries to sell their wares at their breweries and thus put them on par with other states and our own state's wine industry.

The dudes at Rahr put it better:

As many of you know Texas breweries are prohibited by law, from selling beer directly to the public at their breweries - no 6 packs to take home on Saturday or kegs to purchase directly from the brewery for that special party at home.

While this is no great imposition to the public, it has had a significant impact on the number of, and financial health of, Texas brewers. There are only 8 commercial package breweries in Texas (this does not include brew pubs). In other states - CO, WA, OR, CA. NY etc - there are many times the number of craft brewers than in Texas. In California for example there are over 150 breweries. Many of these beers are well known here in Texas.

Read about it here.

Find your representative here. Thanks Trent.

So, if you like good beer, pleas contact your state representatives.

Hear Ye!! Hear Ye!!

His Majesty Wally The First by the Grace of God of Wallgio, Archduke of Debauchery, Sovereign of the Royal Order of Insobriety, Viceroy of Vickery Park, the Count of Concho, the Baron of Lakewood and surrounding territories, and the Mayor of Skillman Avenue is pleased to announce the ascension of his loyal Jester to the title of Marquis and will henceforth be known as The Marquis de Burr.

Through his continuing efforts to amuse his King, and his recent demonstrations of maturation – keeping a job, dating a girl more than twice, buying a car – it has been decreed that the Jester should be rewarded for these fine efforts, without any increase in monetary compensations or in kind.

Regrettably, in these hard economic times, the Royal Court will not be immediately filling the position of Jester. Therefore, the Marquis de Burr (designate) will continue to fulfill and perform the duties of Jester.

Blu-Ray Review: Stepbrothers

One of the more charming features of The Ticket is its ability to “discover” something, usually a year after that something was released. The most recent discovery is Will Ferrell’s Stepbrothers.

This is the story of two still-living-at-home 40ish guys brought together when their parents marry. Hilarity ensues as these two teenagers trapped in 40 year old bodies are forced together, first hating each other, then becoming best friends.

And I have to admit this is well above average for recent Will Ferrell fair and may be only second to Stranger Than Fiction in all-time best Will Ferrell movies. There may be funnier moments in Anchorman or Old School. But this is a much more solid movie throughout.

Finally, as chronicled earlier in this blog, I chose poorly in the HD-DVD / Blu-Ray war. With the death of my Tivo, that recently had only been used for its built in DVD player, I had to purchase a new DVD player. With great reluctance, I purchased a Blu-Ray player and Stepbrothers was the first Blu-Ray movie I watched on my new player. I’m not positive that I needed the crystal clear picture of Blu-Ray to fully experience Will Ferrell teabagging John C. Reily’s drum kit.
I may have chosen poorly yet again.

  • 0 breasts
  • 0 beasts
  • 1 sack
  • Garage-fu
  • Playground-fu
  • Academy Award nomination for Richard Jenkins for The Visitor.
  • Academy Award nomination for Mary Steenburgen for having a rockin body at 60ish.

King Wally says check it out.


My Evening With Mark Cuban

Sometimes it becomes clear why I keep The Jester around. Last week (ok, it was actually more than two weeks ago. I’ve had a hard time finishing this posting as you’ll notice when it kind of ends abruptly) he was spiffed with his employer’s Mavericks tickets. These were some nice mid-lower bowl seats all by themselves. But soon after arriving an old Frat buddy of The Jester’s, who works for the Mavs, supersizes two of the four tickets our group had. How superersized? Well one of the tix was right behind Mark Cuban and the other was back and to the left of Cuban – usually not a good position in Dallas.

Sidebar -- I go to a lot of Stars games, but only one or two Mavs games a year. And it never fails to fascinate me how much different the crowds are. There is the obvious difference. The Stars’ crowd is quite a bit whiter than the Mavs’ crowd. Shit, the Stars’ crowd is quite a bit whiter than America in general. And, although I’m not in possession of the paperwork to prove it, the women that go to Mavs games are at least half the size of the women that go to Stars games. But, to be fair, those old school Darian Hatcher sweaters aren’t very flattering.

OK, back to the Mavs. Since there were only two tickets behind Cuban and four of us, we took shifts. Alex (not my dog) and Crutch took the first half and The Jester and I took the second half.

This is the third time I’ve watched a game from the floor – but the first time in the regular season. It’s very cool and I highly recommend it. So if you have a few thousand dollars laying about, burning a hole in your mattress, do it.

While I enjoyed the Mavs when they were on their big playoff runs, I am not what one would call a fan of basketball. In fact, of the four major sports it ranks fifth. But sitting on the floor and watching these goliaths perform just feet from you is, in one overused word, AWESOME. Except that I could not help but notice that filthy rich much have much smaller asses than the average Joe. There just isn’t that much room for a plus-sized dude like me.

But the highlight of the night, and the reason you’ve probably suffered through the first half of this post, was getting to witness the genius of Mark Cuban. Admittedly, I’m a fan of Mark Cuban. If we had more guys like him in the world, I truly think the world would be a much better place. He demands excellence from everyone around him and is constantly striving to improvements in his surroundings. We need more of this in this country. Although, I only demand mediocrity from myself.

But I would dread ever having to work for him – directly or indirectly. It’s not just a myth; he really is on the refs the whole game. The Clippers were shooting at our end. And any time they had the ball, he’s yelling “Three seconds. Three seconds” for the entirety of their possession. There was also a young referee officiating this game. On one particularly dubious call, he yelled out to the crew chief, “Hey, you can override him when he’s wrong.”

Cuban is also hyper vigilant – acutely aware of everything that’s going on around him. During one stoppage of play, a slower, quieter song got played that did not quite fit into the standard continuous cacophony of sound that is a Mavericks game. So Cuban jumps out of his seat and begins yelling at someone at the scorer’s table.

But my favorite moment happened after Brandon Bass was fouled. On his way to the charity stripe, the sound guy plays the drop “I brought you this delicious bass”, from Napoleon Dynamite. Well this tickled Marked and he began laughing riotously. So then everyone around him had to start over-laughing as well – including me.

So, in summary, Maverick’s games on the floor are good.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Leader's New Podcast

Not wanting to lose contact with his devout followers, like me, and because he can't get enough of his nasally drone, Adam Carolla has started a daily podcast. The first day a quarter of million people downloaded it. Or maybe it was me downloading it a quarter of a million times. Either way, you can't prove it.

But you can give him a try here.

Monday, February 23, 2009

It's Over

Or is it???

2009: Week 7

Man this was a busy week.

Birthday diner with moms at The Old Warsaw. Vanessa instigated funanigans at Jimmy's, Dodie's and Breadwinners.

Too bad you guys couldn't join us in the fun.

Key Stats:
  • 389 - the bin number of one of my favorite wines -- Penfold's Bin 389 -- consumed at The Old Warsaw.
  • 20 - dollars I lost at my own Godsdamned poker game.
  • 6 - Episodes of Flight of the Concords I watched over the weekend
  • 0 - minutes of the Academy Awards I watched on Sunday.

Fun With GoogleMaps: Dallas Homicides

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

2009: Week 6

These weeks come and go pretty fast. I'm starting to reconsider if this Wally's Week in Review was a good idea.

There were some definite highlights this week. Can anyone say sitting behind Mark Cuban at a Maverick's game?

Oh too bad!

And I have to give BC and Barb some serious love for hosting a great Winter League After Party.

Key Stats:
  • 3 - number of naps taken on Sunday
  • 2 - hot dogs eaten at Winter League. Kind of dispointing, really. I should do better
  • 3 - number of different beers I had on my first visit to Zymology. Review to come after a few more visits.
  • 3 - as in "3 seconds" which is what Mark Cuban shouted to the refs every time a Clipper sniffed the paint.

Eating White Rock: Barbec's

Probably one of the most popular breakfast places in the White Rock Lake area, Barbec’s does not disappoint. Walking in to the main dining area, you are instantly greeted with the sites sounds and aromas of a classic diner.

And then it only gets better.

After being seated on the front patio, we were quickly welcomed by the quintessential grizzled diner waitress whose voice and skin have been ravaged by thousands of cartons of Marlboro Reds. Not wanting to break the illusion, we did not ask her name and merely referred to her as Flo.

As usual, I ordered Freedom Toast, which comes with eggs (I got them scrambled), bacon AND sausage. This is a nice touch. As many of you may have noticed, I have a thing for bacon. When it is available, I must have it. But I also love breakfast sausage. So it is literally a Sophie’s Choice of the highest and most painful order that I must choose at most diners. I mean, I don’t want to look like a Fatty McPhatfat by ordering a side of sausage. Luckily, Barbec’s frees me from this embarrassment and lets me have both by default.

And both were near perfect. The bacon was exquisitely thick and crispy and chock full of smoky bacony goodness. The sausage was in patty form and a sagey delight. Or is it sagy? I dunno. It was mmm mmm good. How’s that?

The eggs were good. There’s really not much you can do with eggs. They were fluffy and pretty much what they’re supposed to be. But the French Toast was a little disappointing. It was just ok. Not much was done to add flavor to it – no vanilla, no cinnamon. And really? Country Crock “butter”. Could I please get some real butter for my toast and not a yellow petroleum by-product?

Their signature item are their Beer Biscuits. This is gonna be tough for me because I love beer and I love biscuits. But, I’m sad to report, these were just OK – a bit too sweet for me. I would put my biscuits up against these any day.

The food is good diner breakfast food. It makes no strides to do otherwise. But I have a love of diners. It’s in my family’s blood. So I give Barbec’s a:


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Eating Uptown: The Old Warsaw

This review kinda makes me sad.

You see, The Old Warsaw should be the kind of old school fine dining restaurant that I would embrace. After all, it is the old school atmosphere of Morton’s, and to some extent the Uptown Truluck’s, that make each of these some of my favorite local eateries. But, alas, the place just didn’t have IT. And I wish I knew what IT was. Because then I would open up a restaurant with IT and make a fortune.

Things started off well. My Bombay Sapphire martini was nothing short of perfection. And it arrived in a very timely manner. But then again, it should have. Maybe it’s the economy or perhaps the Mavericks game going on down the street, or maybe it was because it was Lost night. But this cavernous restaurant had only two tables going.

Next came the lobster bisque. Usually the highlight of any story, here we got a minor misstep. It was luscious with large chunks of lobster. But it was not the flavor explosion I anticipated – very good, just not great.

And this is essentially what was wrong with this place. My appetizer of crab stuffed jumbo shrimp was very good, just not great. My halibut was very good, just not great. It was also a bit undercooked and oddly paired with rice. It may be just a prejudice of mine, but I don’t associate rice with fine dining. Risotto, yes and perhaps a nice pilaf. But this was just rice.
Dessert consisted of a slice of very good (but not great) coconut cake and an extremely mediocre slice of carrot cake.

Ultimately, this is restaurant with very good food that I have no desire to ever go back and revisit.


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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Are You Effing High????

clipped from
Adam Carolla Show Cancelled? Here’s the Scoop

Adam Carolla ShowAdam Carolla, the radio personality whose “Adam Carolla Show” program took the timeslot once held by Howard Stern on CBS Radio, has reportedly lost his job.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Eating Lakewood: Ali Baba

This is going to be a tough review. In fact, I am pretty much forcing myself to review Ali Baba.

Ok. I admit it. I like to write two types of reviews. I like to either verbally fellate a restaurant for how metaphysically perfect the food is. Or I like to tear a restaurant a third bunghole.

Unfortunately for me, Ali Baba had no discernable flaws. It’s walk able from my house. We got a huge amount of food for a reasonable price and it was all tasty.

Fuckers! I’ve got nothing to bitch about. The staff wasn’t even rude as we stayed well past when they would normally have closed on a weekday night.

If you’re interested we ordered the appetizer sampler, the falafel plate and the grilled lamb plate. All met or exceeded expectations. Although in retrospect, we really didn’t need the sampler since the falafel came with a generous amount of the delicious hummus. One standout was their rice that came with the lamb. Theses long grains of perfection are literally drenched in butter. Since this is Mediterranean food, it must be healthy, right?

OK. I do have one complaint. This place has a lunch buffet and they weren’t open when I was laid off.

How dare they!


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Monday, February 9, 2009

Hard Core Food Porn

From This is Why You're Fat.

2009: Week 5

This was the week when the dreaded age field went up by one and I am forced to contemplate being even closer to my death than I am to my birth. Or I can just drink and drink and drink and not contemplate anything but why I suck so bad at Beer Pong these days.

I also got revisit an old friend -- The Libertine. A fresh review of which is coming.

Key Stats:

  • 4 – games in a row my Winter League team has won
  • 5 – pounds little Zoë weighed on her first trip to the Vet.
  • 8 – the number of women who held Zoë at the Barley House after Wednesday night pickup
  • 0 – the number of women I held at the Barley House after Wednesday night pickup. It’s official, I have no game.

Eating Lower Greenville: Quesa-D-Ya's

I’m always excited when a new place to eat or drink (or both) opens up in my ‘hood. The anticipation was painful as I watched this place being finished out. It finally opened in the heard of my last Detox. Clearly the Gods hate me.

Combining the concepts of pizza delivery with Chipotle you have the idea of Quesa-D-Ya’s – with quesadillas instead of burritos, obviously. Just, please, ignore the dumb name.
My first, and so far only experience, was on a cold, lethargic night where I didn’t want to go out and I didn’t want to cook. So I ordered up a couple of ‘dillas and an order of quac.

Having recently (that day I think) read a review in The Dallas Observer in which the Havana D-Ya was ordered, (and, well a craving for a Cuban sandwich at Jimmy’s) I opted for a medium Havana and a medium Smokey Mountain D-Ya.

The Cuban was good with the right ratios of pork to mustard to pickle. It’s only failing is that it had no heat to it what so ever. The Smokey Mountain was the better of the two with a nice sweetness from the bbq sauce and grilled onions. Both were “filled out” with rice, which I find a strange item on a quesadilla.

The real star of the meal was the guacamole. This stuff is the shit – some of the freshest, tastiest guac in the history of guac. I’m not quite ready to put it above the guac at Chipotle or The Original, but it is a contender.

Also, each D-Ya comes with chips and a tastey smokey salsa reminiscent of the salsa at Uncle Julio’s.

This is a great alternative to the Pizza duldrums.


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Friday, February 6, 2009

Area Dog Declared Healthy, Adorable by Veterinary Professionals

From Zoë

2009: Week 4

Ooops. I completely forgot about this this week. Much apologizings.

But to be honest, how could I be expected to remember to blog about a week that included the introduction of the intensely adorable Zoë?

I also think that that damn Facebook is diverting some of my creative juices (ewww gross) from this blog.

Key Stats
  • 0 - number of Beer Pong games played at Frat Party
  • 2 - games my Winter League team won this week
  • 4 - number of beers drunk in the first 3 1/2 hours I was at Frat Party.
  • 2 - number of beers drunk in the last 1/2 hour of Frat Party.

Best Trailer for a Movie That Will Never Be Made


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Caption Contest

We haven't done this in a while. Provide a caption for this photo. Mine so far --
  • Looks like The Jester's having another party.

Let the Drinking Begin

Ok.Well, let the drinking continue.
clipped from

Doctors test latest attempt at artificial liver

WASHINGTON – There's help for failing kidneys and failing hearts. But there's no fix for a dying liver. Doctors are trying to change that at a few hospitals around the country, testing a machine packed with human liver cells as a last-ditch chance to survive sudden liver failure.

The experiment is the latest in a decades-long quest for an artificial liver, a device that could temporarily take over some of the liver's jobs much like dialysis helps kidneys work and cardiac pumps squeeze a flabby heart.

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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Adorable Zoë Picture of the Day

Fuck off marmots. There's a new sheriff in town.


This would have been so much better if I had known about this yesterday. But Feb 3 -- my birthday -- was National Carrot Cake Day. And Carrot Cake just so happens to be my favorite dessert in the world.

Coincidence??? I think not!!!