Saturday, May 31, 2008

Peach Dared Them

If you're not used to wearing them, it's not always intuitive as to how you're supposed to wear a thong.

Read the story and experience the video here.

Friday, May 30, 2008

The Holy Grail Found in Snook

I Finally Have a Favorite FC Dallas Player

Dominic Oduro.

And how did he earn the prestigious title of King Wally's favorite Hoop? (Is a single FC Dallas player even called a Hoop? and is it 'a' Hoop or 'an' Hoop?)

All you have to do is score Dallas' only two goals in a 2-1 come-from-behind (is there a better way?, yes working blue) in last Saturday's game against Real Salt Lake City (yes this posting is late. I've had bloggers block and yes I did just get a fresh shipment of parentheses).

Even before his first goal I noticed him when he came in as a substitute with about 15-20 minutes left in the game. He had fresh legs and was incredibly fast. I thought if they could get it to him, he'll score.

Look at me. I've seen one game live and I'm a soccer savant.

To see his magic, click here.

And no, I could not name a single other FC Dallas player. Chad Deering? Tatu?

I Guess McCain Does Have A Plan




Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Heartache

It's the first team to 16 wins, for a team to skate the Stanley Cup.

But those fucking Red Wings stopped my beloved Stars at 10.

There's nothing in sports better than the Stanley Cup playoffs, especially when your team goes on an extended run. And this was a much fun as I've had since 2000. I need more Stars hockey and October seems so far away right now.


GO PENS!!!!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Witnessing Greatness

Greatest Game Ever!
At least the greatest game I've ever been witness to.
I try not to get too sporty on this blog. But when I see the most greatest game played in Dallas sports history along with two of the most amazing exhibitions of goal-tending in NHL history, I figure I should have a blurb about that in my blog.
For the uninitiated, the Stanley Cup playoffs are the greatest (there's that word again, for chrissake, someone buy me a thesaurus) sports spectacle our continent has to offer. And one of the things that makes them so great are the multi-overtime marathons.
The Stars and the Sharks essentially played 2+ games last night. Which begs the question "How can soccer live with itself settling it's big championships with a shootout?" Yes the game slowed down quite a bit. But the hockey game was settled like a hockey game and not a skills competition.
But I digress.
Then, just seconds after Brendan Morrow buried a Stefan Robidas pass into the Shark's net (ooh that sounded really sporty), we got to witness the another thing that makes the hockey playoffs so great -- the handshake. How could you not be moved seeing Mike Modano and Jeremy Roenick's long touching embrace. Two of the US's greatest hockey players in one last battle.
I wish I had more say about this game that you couldn't find in the newspaper or other more sporty blogs. But, I guess, all I have left to say is that it was an amazingly intense experience that I plan on forming a religion around.









Watch the highlights from Canadian TV.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

The World's Ten Most Disgusting Beers

AKA Beer for Beer-pong.

From TSoS correspondent mattdotcurry:


The highlights:

8. Sleeman Clear Lager Another low-carb entry, though here the delicate and nuanced notes of lighter fluid and Dumpster drippings on a blistering August day achieves heretofore unknown lows.

...

3. Chapeau Exotic This Lambic is proof that rare Belgian beers are capable of great suckitude. Writes Orlando Ratebeer.com member Boboski: "One sip leads to a joyful drain pour. I hope it doesn't ruin my sink."



Read the whole thing here.

Only Funny To Me????

The Office Made Fun of Me

With apologies to JT.




Can't you find a way to spoof your IP address so you can watch this stuff?

Maybe Next Year

Once again I was denied my rightful place of glory. From this story, please find those that did make it there. But I have to ask the question. "What have they ever done?"

Friday, May 2, 2008

This Guy is Stealing my Jokes

I could not believe what I was reading. Right there in the middle of the second paragraph of this review of the most recent episode of Lost, the reviewer used one of my patented jokes (don't forget, I am a patent holder).

Tonight though was a make-good: Pretty much all-Jack-all-the-time. On the island, Jack’s Inflamed Appendix (which was the name of my first college rock band, by the way)


Well, maybe he didn't steal it. After all, unless you're David Letterman, Gordon Keith or Adam Carolla, if you've stolen from me you've stolen twice.