Monday, June 30, 2008

Well, Derek was There

Lunchtime brush with greatness. I spotted former Mavs great, Derek Harper, waiting for a salad, or perhaps a sangwich at Baker Bros. in Plano


One of my all-time favorite movies is releasing its 20th Anniversary DVD this week. And between this event and Angry Jen's constant barbs, I've never felt older.
Since I've already bought the VHS, Laserdisc and original DVD version of this move (and the soundtrack, btw) I won't be buying this. But if you want to, here it is.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

DVD Review: The Hammer

This is why my leader was on Dancing with the Stars. He was on to promote this movie, which was in limited release (mostly just the cities his morning drive-time radio show can be heard).

I have to admit I was a little worried about the quality of this movie. Although it got great reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and Ebert & Roeper gave it Two Thumbs Up, I've seen The Man Show. Adam Carolla, while fantastic on the radio ranting about everyday annoyances, he's a stiff on camera.

Well, he's improved a little. But no one will mistake him for Alec Baldwin when it comes to great comedic acting.

But despite his limited acting ability, this is still a funny, sweet romantic comedy. That's right. I said romantic comedy.

This is the semi-autobiographical story of Jerry Ferro (Carolla) who, on his 40th birthday loses both his job and his girlfriend. While coaching a boxing class at a local gym, he finds his way out of rock bottom. He meets a new woman and he begins working his way up the armature ranks to make the US Olympic boxing team. OK, maybe a little unbelievable. But he's got a really good left.

By the way, it was while working as a boxing instructor at the gym this movie was filmed (where he was also a handyman) that Adam met Jimmy Kimmel. From that meeting he would go on to host Loveline and The Man Show and is now, as he'll tell you often, literally a millionaire.

In a world of craphole movies like Don't Mess with the Zohan and The Love Guru, why couldn't a movie like this get a wider release? It may not rise to the level of a Sideways, Juno or Little Miss Sunshine. But it is still a worthy indie comedy.

  • 0 breasts
  • 1 beast
  • belt-sander fu
  • Nicaraguan punch-in-the-nuts fu
Academy award nomination for Oswaldo Castillo for playing the very difficult role of himself.

King Wally says check it out. I bought the DVD, so if anyone wants to borrow it, let me know.


Today's Worst Person in the World

Sometimes evil is genius and sometimes it's retarded. Today's worst person was just plain retarded.

I was driving to work today going eastbound in the center lane on Northwest Highway. Stopped several cars back from the stop light at Preston Road, I took another sip of my delicious frozen peach protein shake. The light turned green, but there was no forward motion. The light stayed green; still no motion. Finally some cars began to move. Then, I eventually made it to Preston and witnessed the abject stupidity of today's worst person.

This asshat, traveling south on Preston on the right lane had apparently thought she could make the red light. But at the last minute decided she couldn't. So there she was. Blocking the entire right eastbound lane of Northwest Highway.

Maam, I'm sorry your mom smoked crack while you were in the womb. I truly am. And I'm sure that being repeatedly dropped on your head as a baby, and probably still as an adult, has not helped.


You've forfeited your right to continue on to your destination. You must now turn right and get the fuck out of the way of people with intact cerebrums (cerebra?). We are all going to work to pay the taxes that pay for your sippy-cups and adult diapers.

The Dumbass blocking Northwest Highway -- Today's Worst Person In the Woooorrllllddd.


Today is the one year anniversary of the happiest day of my life, the glorious day I was laid off from Nortel, and the day I started this blog.

And, no, I did not steal that picture from the One Baby, No Cup website.

Donuts. Nothing but Donuts.

What does this say about me?

I'm a sucker for food shows. And the Travel Channel has been showing their Food Paradise episodes in heavy rotation. So far I've seen Barbecue Paradise (BTW who's up for a trip to Lockhart for three featured BBQ meccas?) , Hamburger Paradise, Deep-Fried Paradise, Pizza Paradise, Hot-Dog Paradise and Steak Paradise.

Of these episodes, I've been to two "Hamburger Paradises" -- White Castle and Bob's Big Boy -- both national chains, one "Hot dog Paradise" -- Nathan's, but not the one on Coney Island, one "Pizza Paradise" -- Pizzaria Uno, but not the one in Chicago, and no BBQ, Deep-Fried or Steak "Paradises". So, essentially the only ones I've been to are the national or regional chains.

Except for donuts.

I'm "proud" to say that I've been to three purveyors of yummy fried frittery goodness.

Proof I've been to Cafe Du Monde.

Raspberry Donut from Top Pot.

Bacon Maple Bar from Voodoo.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Lunchtime Annoyances

1) This has been happening alot recently -- twice today at lunch -- and I just don't understand it. As I'm exiting a place of business, being an American and used to driving on the right, I'll attempt to use the right door of a double door arrangement. But not so fast. The right door is inexplicably locked. Thus, I look like an idiot trying to go out it and am forced to use the left door. Is there a reason for the right door being locked, or is it just laziness on the part of the store manager who unlocked the door? Maybe it's an ingenious way of keeping dullards in your store and thus purchasing more. "Oh, well. The door's locked. I guess I'll stay and eat another sangwich."

2) I'm standing in line at Potbelly's, patiently waiting to order my sangwich, when I'm personally assaulted by the mere presence of a young man wearing a black, wool Bam Margera hat. (He's the first and one of the few I've ever seen wear those stupid hats, thus that's what I call them). It's 95 degrees with 95% humidity and blasting sun, but this douche has to look like a cool SoCal skaterboi. Yeah, I know I'm getting old when I'm annoyed by things that have zero effect on me.

You punk kids, get off my lawn.

BTW. Is there a real name for those hats?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Eating Minneapolis: Kramarczuk's Sausage Co.and Deli

I got a chance to explore my Polish heritage in of all places as the land of 10000 Lakes and Marge Gunderson. And good Christ was this good. It was all I could do to not load my tray up with all of the Eastern European treats this place has to offer. Hopefully I'll have to come back to Minneapolis soon. As it is, I ended up having pierogies, sauerkraut and a giant cabbage roll.

The cabbage roll was like a giant Polish Chipotle burrito. Perfectly wrapped on the outside and stuffed with rice and meat on the inside. It was incredible and I can't believe I ate the whole thing. It also came with sauerkraut with sausage chopped up inside -- amazing. Best sauerkraut I've ever had.

But it was those delicious pillows of deliciousness know as pierogies that made the meal. The mashed potatoes inside were clearly freshly made from scratch with chunks of potato inside. It was accompanied with a sour cream/ horseradish mixture. Incredible.

Please do not alert American Airlines about this since I will be boarding a plane tomorrow morning with a large quantity of gas more lethal than saran gas and anthrax combined.

215 East Hennepin Avenue Minneapolis, MN 55414


I Prefer Extreme Irony

How those crazy kids with their XGames always look so well dressed.

Give A Cyclist a Break

TMac submits this link for us cycling enthusiasts to band together. I never really noticed how terribly bike unfriendly Dallas is until I go to places like Seattle, Portland and now Minneapolis.

Dangit!! Why Didn't I Think of That??

What a great idea for a bar name. But then, if you didn't already know, I'm what one might be referred to as a nerd.
Of course if I did think of it, the idea would just languish for a few years until all my friends were tired of asking about it.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

All Hail Bacon Henge

Sorry, Nation, the 411 about the magnificent edible-ifice (thank you my friends) can be found here.

Retox: Day 1 aka Fogo de Wow

Since there have been very few times in my recent history (thank you, once again, Nortel) to eat on the company dime, there is no way I could turn down a trip to the meat orgy that is Fogo de Chao. Detox officially took a holiday as pound after pounds of perfectly cooked slivers of meat where ceremoniously layered at the bottom of my distended stomach.

Oh, and they make a tastey giant Saphire martini.

Thankfully the fog of the meat coma has lifted so that I might blog about reaching the promised land of expense account steak.

Look for a similar post about Morton's if I ever get sent up here again.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Movies and TV Have Lied to Me

Lesbian couple marries.
But these are just old ladies. Not the hot chicks on Cinemax.

Gross Food of the Day

And suggest a catch-phrase.

I Hate Cilantro

Well, I don't really hate it. But these folks do.

I'm not a huge fan. In small doses it can add to a dish. But all to often it's not in small doses and imparts a soapy flavor to a dish.

Ordinarily a site like this wouldn't be blogworthy. But I'm a sucker for haikus.

Detox Done

Yeah. I'm weak.

But what am I supposed to do. There's a fucking Fogo de Chao right across the street from my hotel. And there's a Morton's right around the corner.

I swear this city is taunting me.

Total Lost: 11lbs

Potential gain from this trip: 200lbs

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sport und Spiel

I hope everyone got to watch the Turkey/Czech Republic game today. Not only was it an important game in which the winner advanced to the round of 16, but it was one of the most amazing soccer games I've ever seen. And that's from someone who has seen very little soccer over his life time.

Admittedly, I didn't start watching until early in the second half, just before the Czech Republic took an insurmountable 2-nil lead. Game over. Turkey go home.

But then I got to see a string of things I've never seen in all my handfuls of games I've watched.

After cutting the lead in half, Nihat Kahveci took over. If soccer clocks behaved like hockey clocks -- that is if they were to stop after a goal and during the celebration and then start up again at the faceoff/kickoff -- he would have scored the tieing and winning goals in about 15 seconds.

Then, in extra time, the Turkish goaltender was red-carded. With all three substitutions used, a player on the field had to be the goalie. And that player was, of course, Nihat Kahveci. He didn't have to make a stop. But it's still cool.

And finally, one of Turkey's bench players was yellow-carded. I've never seen that either.

So let's all get behind Turkey, but most of all let's get behind Texas and let's get triple behind the Burnett Shale.

Go Stars!

RSS Feed

Not that most of you (the few of you who still read this) care, but I do have an RSS feed.
Happy Pokie??

How to Spot a Cylon

This would have come in handy during the primaries. I'm pretty sure Hillary's a skinjob.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Sushi Dallas

I know I shouldn't read stuff like this -- specifically the comments. I'm ok with the DMN snubbing my beloved Piranha. I'm used to it by now. But the comments just prove that only the elite, like myself, should be allowed to offer up opinions about food.

Some of the more egregious comments:

Posted by Debra Dreyfuss @ 2:48 PM Mon, Jun 09, 2008
MR. SUSHI!!! we have been going there for 20+ years. always the freshest fish and definitely he best salad dressing of any restaurant in this city. good value, too.

SALAD DRESSING??? That's how you judge a sushi restraunt?? And the place is called Mr. Sushi. How serious can we take this place?

Posted by CCB @ 3:17 PM Tue, Jun 10, 2008
Truly agree that all the above listed sushi houses are great, but I am amazed that the little- 80's style SUSHI ON MCKINNEY is not on the list! Yes it is small, hard to park in, and across from the obnoxious Knox Street Pub, but the service is one of the friendliest that I have ever had- and of course the sushi is amazing! Great food for sushi novice, but still creative and amazing for the sushi connoisseur!

Really?? Really?? I would rather eat sushi from Krogers that has been left on the dashboard of my XTerra all day on the hottest day in August. This is easily the worst sushi I've ever had.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Detox Days 12, 13

Yeah, this is starting to get boring. And I seemed to have plateaued (does that make sense for something that's declining?? nadired, perhaps??). But thank sweet baby Jebus the wind has died down.

Weight Lost: 9lbs

Travel update: I'm not going to Chicago. Plans changed and I'm going to Minneapolis. So prepare to be Blogalanched® (a registered trademark of SummerOfSteve, The LLC, a wholly owned subsidary of Sheinhardt Wigs).

R.I.P Tim Russert

Ooops. Spoiler Alert, Trent.

I wonder if his cousin Megan will be at the funeral.

A free beer to anyone that gets that.

Do Your Part For Humanity

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Today's Worst Person in the World

When I am truly, and not just Glenn's imaginary leader, I will ban the use of microwave ovens in the workplace. There is absolutely nothing, and I do not exaggerate, that will stink up an office faster than a microwave. And the two biggest culprits of a smelly workplace – overcooked popcorn and fish. Before my anti-microwave decree can be fully implemented, anyone cooking either of these items in a microwave will be put to death.

So it is with great embarrassment and regret that I must admit to bringing my grilled tilapia from the night before to work, and stinking up my office.

Steve Cook and his stinky fish, Today’s Worst Person in the Wooooorlllllld!

Detox Day 11

It was a flavor explosion. And all it was was a smoked turkey sample at Central Market.

It was my first meat in 12 days and it was delicious. I followed that up with some grilled tilapia at La Calle Doce and it was even better.

So, the question is, were these things really good or was it just because I've been eating grass clippings (sorry to repeat the same joke, but I just woke up) for 10 days?

Also, detox may be hitting some turbulence in its final week. I found out I have to fly to Chicago for work to essentially sit around and be there if something catastrophic happens.

Good times.

Weight Lost: 9lbs

Detox Discovery: Organic Cameo apples at Central Market.

Best Old 97s Video Evar

The World Better Not Fucking End Today After I've Spent The Last 11 Days Eating Grass Clippings

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Detox Day 10

I can eat meat!!! But only chicken breast and fish. And I didn't have any today anyways.

I'm getting sick of this fucking wind. Not that I'm a pussy, although I am, but the wind is kicking my ass during my bike rides.

Weight Lost: 8 lbs

Detox MVP: Frozen Peaches for protein smooties.

I'm So Proud

I was bored the other day and I started randomly Googling things. One of the things that I Googled was "The Summer of Steve". I was so proud that this posting was at the top of the list.

Ahhhh, just listening to that, I can almost taste the Lagunitas IPA I was drinking.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Detox Day 9

I may have over done it with the sleeping/dreaming.

Napping yesterday afternoon made it difficult to sleep tonight which made me tired throughout the day. But I was re-invigorated when I left work and there was a chill in the air.

Weight Loss: 8 lbs

Current Craving: A glass of red wine (and maybe a couple of vicadin for some really cool dreams)

Sunday, June 8, 2008

For An Encore, They All Blew There Heads Off

Detox Day 8

Man I love these dreams.

Instead of being about food I can't have, last night's dreams were about women I can't have. So, good times. And I'll just leave it at that.

Weight Lost: 7lbs

Favorite Detox Food That Could Cause Explosive Diarrhea: Fresh Tomatoes with Olive oil, Balsamic and Basil.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Today's Worst Person in the World

I had to deposit some paychecks (yes, I'm so filthy rich that I sometimes wait a couple of weeks to deposit my paychecks) so I went to the Bank of America by the Central Market at Greenville and Lovers.

This particular bank has a double ATM. That is, it has two ATMs in a single lane.

As I'm pulling into the bank, another car is pulling in just before me. So we both find that there is already a car at the front ATM. After about 15-20 seconds go by, the front car pulls off. The dude in the car in front of me was still fumbling with his walled and had yet to start a transaction. So with an empty ATM slot right in front of him, he decides that it would be too much effort to pull ahead a little bit so that we can both do our banking in parallel. So I have to wait for this assclown to finish his business before I can do mine.

I mean it's just common courtesy to move up, yes?

Rude Dude at the ATM. Today's Worst Person in the Wooooorllllllld.

Detox Day 7

One week down, two to go Mr. Cerf.

The one thing I most warmly remember and have been waiting for the most on detox is the vivid dreams. And last night I had a ton of dreams -- assuming you can measure dreams by weight. It may be more like foot-REMs.

Well, anyways (annoying transition) the interesting part of last night's dreams is that I had several in which I ate something I can't on detox, remembered I couldn't eat it and stopped.

Weight Lost: 6lbs
Major Craving: Mexican Food. I almost cried when Glenn & Pokie texted me from Cuquitas.

Brush with Greatness

So I was shopping at the big Whole Foods on Preston and Forest when I saw an older gentleman eyeing the many tasty pastries they have there. I immediately recognized him as someone I should know. My first guess was some coach from my past, either PE or maybe even Coach Priddy, Arlington Heights High School's long time head football coach that once coached the great Turner Gil. But then it dawned on me.

Oh, It's Wade Phillips.

And yes, I'm being a bit liberal with the word "greatness".

Happy Belated Doughnut Day

I need to stay on top of these important dates better.
I would point you to Serious Eat's top donut shops in the country. But there's not a single Texas shop on the list. Don't mess with Texas or you won't get linked to.
But Happy Doughnut Day anyways.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Detox: Day 6

The fog has lifted further.

All day at work I just couldn't believe how clear-headed I was. Except for when my account manager called to tell me she was there with my paycheck (good christ she drains my life-force), I was remarkably full of energy all day. I'm starting to wonder if there's speed in some of the suppliments that I'm taking for the detox.

Weight Loss: 4lbs

Today's Worst Person in the World

With reverence and respect to the great Keith Olbermann, I have been meaning to steal this bit from him since way back during a hike in the Yosemite Valley. There, a motorcyclist decided he wanted to share his Black Sabbath with the rest of us enjoying the serene beauty of Yosemite. But to be fair, you've not experienced Ozzy until you've heard him bounced off of El Capitan a dozen or so times.

My innaugural Worst Person is actually two people.

While riding around White Rock Lake, I will often see people on the banks of the lake fishing. Recently, the the lake was restocked with catfish and some other fish. So, I was disgusted to see on the east side of the lake to fellows, waist deep in the lake, netting fishing.


You slobs can't just fish like everyone else and be satisfied with a handful of fish. You need all the fish in the lake??

The two asshats net fishing at White Rock - today's Worst.......Person.........In the Woooorlllllld

Vote or Die!

Fixed the link.

For the 64 Best Things About Dallas.

Somehow D Magazine was able to come up with 64.

Our War on Illegals

Today I experienced one of the things in our society that, for some reason, frustrates me more than it should. I had to prove I'm a citizen.

For some reason, when I first started working for Beal, the contracting company I work through, did not ask for my "proof of citizenship" materials. Since I had worked for them before, I figured that stuff was already in their records. But, I guess, they realized their mistake today and pestered me about getting that stuff to them via the cutting edge technology of the fax.

Now, I have no quarrel about them needing to do this. It's the law and they have to do it. But here's the thing. What the fuck does this accomplish? Those genius in DC thought it would be a good idea to inconvenience every citizen in the attempt to prevent a relative handful of illegals from working here. And yes, it is an inconvenience. Believe it or not, I don't still have my Social Security card I received in the 7th grade.

But my even larger gripe is why do we as a society seemingly embrace bullshit that looks like we're solving a problem when in fact no problem is being solved. We all happily "show our papers" to secure our employment while our yards are mowed, houses built, food prepared by the vary people we're supposedly keeping from employment. We all happily remove our shoes at the airport to prevent the plane from assploding while nothing can be done to keep containers with dirty bombs out of our ports.

Let's take our country back, people.

Well, not you JT, since you fled to Euroland.

Detox Day 4 & 5

No I haven't quit yet -- and I won't. I just am still struggling with some bloggers block.

When I first heard about this program on The Ticket, I could buy the part where all these guys have lost a lot of weight in just a few weeks. But I couldn't buy the part where you feel better and are more clear headed.

Well, for the first two or three days, I was very foggy-headed. I woke up both days with mild headaches from caffeine withdrawal and I could barely focus at work. However today I woke up and felt great. The fog had lifted and I had a surprisingly large amount of energy for as little carbs I'm eating.

Weight Lost: 4 lbs

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Detox: Day 3

Today was slightly better.

I've become dependent on two drugs to sleep and wake up -- Tyenol PM and caffiene. On the detox, I can't use either. So yesterday was very foggy with very little sleep and no coffee. Today I was actually productive at work. I even managed enough energy for a trip around the lake.

Weight Lost: 2 lbs

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

My Last Day at Nortel


As an avid cyclist, this is about a scary picture as I can imagine. Read the whole story here.

Detox: Day 2

No weight loss. Clearly this doesn't work. Pass the triple bacon-bacon cheese burger.

The suppliments have definitely kicked in. I was peeing like a racehorse at work today. Which is good since you get paid to pee at work.

You're supposed to drink a lot of water on this program. But I didn't feel like I drank that much more than usual. I drink a lot of water during the day, usually; as well as morning coffee.

No coffee today, though. :(

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Detox: Day 1

Today I start George DeJohn's 21 day detox program. I figure by blogging about it, it will force me to have daily updates on my blog. New postings have be few here recently. Thanks largely to work and the Stars, I just haven't had much time. I know -- excuses.
Also, by blogging about it, I'm forced to actually do it. Now, instead of people asking me how Wally's American is coming along, they can ask me about the detoxing.
This will be the second time I've done the complete program. The first, back in the summer of 2006, worked very well for me. So here's hoping it works again.