[ed note -- the doldrums were worse than first thought. this was written back in late November and is only now being posted. So please be so kind as to pretend it’s Thanksgiving and you haven’t seen endless clips of this on The Soup or Jimmy Kimmel.]
I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. After over three years of doing this, I sometimes get tired of my own “voice”. So it would have to take something monumental to get me out of the doldrums of the boredom that is my inner voice to get me back into blogging. And I witnessed something yesterday that was shocking, revolting and made me cry for the future of our society.
That thing was Oprah’s Favorite Things.
First of all, I want to make it clear that this has little to do with Oprah. It may not be a popular stance amongst the hipster snark-filled blogerati, but I think Oprah is an inspirational example of the greatness of America. This is a person who climbed up from abject poverty in the racist south to becoming the most powerful black woman in the history of ever. And to me, that’s what America is all about – a dedicated focus on your objectives and you can achieve anything despite all obstacles.
No, this posting is aimed at the cackling, sycophantic yentas that populated Oprah’s audience on the occasion of her announcing her favorite things. I swear to Christ, fewer tears were shed during 9/11. These shallow coozes reacted to being given a brownie pan like their leukemia suffering toddler had just been given a miracle cure. The looks of shock and awe on their faces would make you think they were peering at the face of Christ himself and not a fucking cashmere sweater with matching cable throw whatever the fuck that is.
Now, to be fair, I have had the Beecher’s Mac & Cheese in Seattle. And it is pretty fucking good. But I would not react to being given a frozen dinner version of it in the same way as winning the Powerball Lottery.
And, as we head into the dreaded Xmas season, I wonder why we are so infatuated with crap. I seldom go to malls anymore. Why should I when there’s the greatness of Amazon. (So if you need a cashmere sweater, follow this link Merona® Women's Cashmere Cardigan Sweater - Oxygen Blue and do me a solid and buy something. These rants aren’t free, ya know.)