Friday, January 7, 2011

2010 In Review: Bottom 5 Restaurants

It was not all sun and roses in 2010.  There were some terrible and/or disappointing meals consumed.  Here are the perpetrators.


5) Craft – This is what passes for fine dining to Dallas’ cocaine and boobjob set before heading up to the Ghost Bar.  While nothing was bad, there was nothing that would compel me to return.  And I got to try a lot of dishes since everything is served “family style”.  But at these ridiculous prices, I’m going to need more than “not bad”.

4) State & Allen – I had heard nothing but great things about this new “gastro-pub” in Uptown, and could not wait to try it.  Well, I haven’t been back.  When two recommended items (fish tacos, “gourmet” mac&cheese) are virtually uneatable, you have to label that restaurant with a giant Fail.

3) Blue Fin Sushi – Not everything in Portland is epically delicious.  Blue Fin is one of those sushi places where the plates ride around on a conveyor belt and you grab what looks tasty as it chugs past you.  It’s also one of those sushi places where the tuna looks like it’s been dyed an unnatural shade of pink.  To be fair, it is across the street from Portland State University.  So I’m guessing their main clientele is poor, hungry students.

2) Sushi Awaji – This is one of those places where the tuna looks like it’s been dyed an unnatural shade of pink and causes you to feel like you just read this same sentence mere seconds ago.  In researching this blog (yeah, I sometimes look shit up) this disaster has been mercifully put out of our misery.   America, please just say no to sushi buffets!

1) The Crab Pot – Sometimes when you’re stuck in traffic and your travel companion needs to eat, NOW! you make poor decisions and choose a place you saw the Man Vs Food guy eat at on the Travel Channel.  What this craphole lacks in flavorful seafood it more than makes up for in yellow jackets buzzing around your discard buckets.  So don’t forget to ask for a side of epinephrine with your fried Dungeness crab basket.  Eating at The Crab Pot in Seattle is like eating at a Dickie’s BBQ in Lockhart.

1 comment:

magpie said...

Well, I can't say I've had those two dishes, but I've never found State & Allen to serve anything "uneatable". Maybe a bad day. Although, I do agree they are oversold.