Health Insurance

I am currently part of the alleged 49 million uninsured Americans. I do have a bit of a COBRA safety net. But I'm not quite sure how safe that netting is in the new year. And since I'm probably going to be contracting and not going full time with anyone anytime soon, I figured it would be better for me to go ahead and get my own health insurance. So I went to my friend, the internet, and found me some insurance. The first shocker was that it will be at least 2 weeks before I can get covered. I can get any number of credit approvals online instantly. But health insurance I guess is still done all with paper and abacuses (abacii??).
The other beatdown was they wanted me to remember all of my ailments for the last ten years. That was easy for me. I've only been so sick I needed a doctor twice in the last ten years. I had gall bladder surgery in 2002 and that nasty bacterial infection this past summer. But what about someone who isn't as robust as I? And I have no records of who treated me in 2002. I don't even know my surgeon's name.
Well hopefully all my records will be in order and I can get my $108/month health insurance. Otherwise I may have to marry one of my readers (preferably female in gender) and glom onto her (again, preferably) insurance. You can fight it out.
Pillows at 20 paces.