The Junes* has often declared August as the worst month of the year. So I say, let’s get rid of it. We don’t need it. We don’t like it. So why keep it around? All it does is get in the way of the much much better month of September.
And just look at all the horrible things August brings us:
- Balls-hot temperatures.
- Preseason football
- Rhythmic Gymnastics **
- Zero holidays
- First Battle of Curlew Pass. So beaten down were these mighty warriors they had to try it a second time in a more accommodating month.
And what does August give in return for all that horror?
- Shark Week!
- The less popular Shart Week, seven days later.
- Ironically it’s Happiness Happens month.***
I’m willing to do without all of that.
So please contact your Congressman, Mayor, Senator, Clergy, Neighborhood Watch Coordinator and Starbucks Barista and tell them you’ve had enough of August and you want it gone next year.
* Probably a joke for only a hand-full of people.
** Every four years.
*** What? Is February National Tanning Month?