Sunday, July 17, 2011

Live Blogging the Women’s World Cup Finals: USA vs Japan

women's soccer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Half
Pregame   I'm unsure as how to promote this game.  Is it Japan taking revenger for Hiroshima or is it the USA taking revenge for Godzilla vs Mothra?
Pregame   Just a reminder.  Say no to racism.  It's just not cool according to my soccer goddesses.
Pregame   Oh, and play fair.  Unless it's faking a foul or kicking your opponent in the tits when the ref isn't looking.
0"   USA!
0"   Wow.  Moving Cheney up already pays off with a scoring chance leading to a corner.
7"   I'm quickly realizing that my lack of soccer knowledge is leaving me with not much to say.  When I can, I make up for that with snark.
8"   Beautiful pass from Rapinoe to Cheney.  And, as with most soccer plays, it ends in no score at all.
10"   Passing the ball back and forth, Japan seems content with taking a nil nil tie into the half with 35 minutes left.
11"   Ugh.  Cheney to Rapinoe also results in a wide shot. 
15"   Happy Birthday Chancellor Merkin.
17"   Our shots are getting closer to the goal.  At least we hit a post.
24"   Corner kick by Cheney.  Nothing.
28"   WHAT!??  Another post hit.  How many posts equals a goal?    USA up 10-2 on shots.  Can we skip the PKs and just win on penetrations.
30"   Yikes!  Good save by Solo
34"   Another missed opportunity with the Cheney header.
36"   A good thing about soccer.  No awful Dr Pepper commercials with Fergie.
37"   A bad thing about soccer.  No awesome Southwest Airlines commercials.
40"   Is this the happiest referee of any sport ever?
45"   nil to nil.  Isn't this how soccer is supposed to go?

 

 
Second Half
     
45"   My personal favorite player, Alex Morgan, is now in for the injured Cheney.
48"   JFC!!!!  Another fucking post, this time by Morgan.
54"   Is that a hot pink sports bra under Alex's jersey?
60"   I was pretty sure I was "ice-cream headached" out with the Mavs playoff run.  Apparently not.
63"   Offsides call goes for USA.  Finally the offsides rule works in my favor.
63"   Great save by that Korean boy in goal.
68"   GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!! U S A!!!  A breakaway goal by Morgan from Ropinoe.  1-nil  USA
70"   Shouldn't Alex have "Brandie Chastained" for us after that goal?  I mean really!
79"   Just a reminder to please be sure to visit Amazon from the links provided to buy your commerative World Cup memorobilia.
80"   Goal.  Japan.  What the fuck just happened there?  1-1
83"   Ian Darke on Carly Lloyds long run and subsequent missed shot "Disappointing in the end really"  Which translates from classy Englisth to American English as "That sucked!"
90" + 2   1-1.   Oh, joy.  Extra time.
Extra Time

 

90"   Oh, boy.  Here we go.  Another 30+ minutes of tummyache and clenched anoose.
91"   Wambach with the header, nice save and holding on to ball.  Abbey was there for any rebound.
95"   Another nice ball to Mornan.  But she couldn't finish this time.
96"   Miama with a yellow card.  Which seems kinda racialist to me.
100"   One hundred minutes.  Make it end.  Please, sweet, clean little 8lb 5oz little baby jebus.  No PKs.
103"   GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! U S A!!!  Wambach with the header from Morgan with a pass almost as beautiful as herself.  2-1 USA!
105"   End of the first Extra Time period.  2-1 USA
106"   Ewe Es Eh!  Ewe Es Eh!
108"   JFC!!! Learn to clear the ball out of the box!!!
111"   JFC!!! Learn to clear the ball out of the box!!!
113"   Heath for Rapinoe.  The USA side just got a little hotter.
114"   Hey, Heath, keep the ball.  Two possessions and two turnovers.
114"   Great save by Rampone.
115"   Solo injured.  Oh dear.  Just looks like cramping.
116"   Goal Japan.  Sawa on a corner kick.  2-2
120"   Japan player (I swear they never said or showed a graphic.  Thanks ESPN) with a red card denying Morgan a scoring oppurtuity
120" + 2   Game Over 2-2 .  On to the hated PKs
     
US1   Boxx saved by goalkeeper.  0-0
Japan 1   Miama scored.   1-0 Japan
US2   Lloyd whiffs over the net.  1-0 Japan
Japan 2   Nagasato saved by Solo.  1-0 Japan
US 3   Heath saved again by the goalkeeper.  1-0 Japan.  Oh dear.
Japan 3   Sakanugi scored.  2-0 Japan.   This isn't looking good.
US 4   Wambach scored 2-1 Japan.
Japan 4   For the win.  Kumigai scores.  Japan wins on PKs

Well that sucked.  Congrats to Japan, but I don’t remember US getting to win anything after Katrina.

Please stay tuned for my live blogging of Texas at Seattle.

After 5, the Rangers lead 3-0.

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