Spring Break Havasu: The Quasi Live Blog [Day 1]

For reasons that are known to almost no one, the IT department of National Motor Club is heading to Lake Havasu to visit the our call center. Luckily this is the beginning of spring break and I have brought along a duffle bag full of Girls With Low Self Esteem trucker hats so as to entice a comely coed back to the room for a quick shower.

Pre-board	It always amazes me the number of people up and commuting at 5:45 am.  Seriously, how do you people do it every day?  I guess I didn’t mention my flight was at 7:30am.  Good times. That sure is a long line at “Express” Check In. Why is it that everyone in front of me at ticket counters or car rental counters take forever to process their business and when I get there it takes maybe a minute?? Can we have a Retard Line and a NonRetard line? Center seat.  Awesome!!! Oh yeah, that’s why I haven’t had a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Croisandwich in almost a decade. The hot chick in the almost see through white pants is greatly offset by the heavy-set braless chick in the aquamarine baby doll.
The Flight	No one in the aisle seat of my row.  Zoink!! Great Success!!! Oh, good Christ, Omar Little is three rows in front of me.  God help us all if the plane is out of Honey Nut, yo. I can certainly understand taking pictures of the Grand Canyon from 35,000 feet.  But, hey asshat, did you really think the flash was going to fill in the dark shadows of the canyon?
Havasu	So this is what Garland would be like if it were a major tourist destination. Can it get any better than eating an In-n-Out burger in the shadow of the London Bridge? There’s a church in Havasu that seems to continually protest abortion.  But really, do you want the people of Havasu to reproduce?  This place is ground zero of the growing Idiocracy. Anyone who has spent two seconds on this blog will realize that I like to eat and I like to eat good food.  So there was a bit of disappointment when it was decided that we were going to dine at Shogun, a Benihana knockoff. They must not sell much unfiltered sake here.  All of the unfiltered solids were caked at the bottom and the bottle had to be shaken vigorously to release their heady goodness. The chef challenged our table to a sake bomb race.  I couldn’t pass that up.  That SOB was done before I even go the glass to my lips. To my great surprise, the food was very good.  I am not a fan of Benihana and would usually power down when we would go for lunch during my Nortel days.  I had the filet and scallops and both were very good.  B+.