Live Blogging NFL Week 3: Cowboys @ Texans

Pregame:  Don’t expect much of me today.  I’m still hungover from the Rangers clinching the American League West celebration.

Pregame:  And don’t expect much from the Cowboys.  The players are the same and, more importantly the coaches are the same.  Prediction:  Texans 35  Cowboys 24.

Q1 14:15  - No Roy Williams on the second play.  And it goes for 14 and a first down.

Q1 13:31 – No Roy again and another successful play to MartyB.

Q1 13:01 – I didn’t notice on the first play, but it appears Dez is the second WR.

Q1 11:10 – I went back to rewatch the first play of this drive, and Roy was on the field.  But it appears he’s not been in since.

Q1 10:55 – Roy was in that play.  I’m not sure why you would run that with Choice and not MB3.

Q1 10:15 – I feel like Felix would have busted that for far more yardage a year or two ago. He’s lucky to have gotten the first down.

Q1 8:53 – Too many men in the backfield??  I’ve seen that movie.

Q1 8:18 – Is Witten still concussed.  He had two of the three penalties on that drive.  Oh, and three penalties on your opening drive does little to show that any improvement on that front was achieved.  THIS TEAM SUCKS.  It can’t help but get in its own way.

Q1 6:00 – That was Ware racing from rushing the QB to tripping up the RB downfield.  Awesome.

Q1 5:20 – And now he has a sack.  At least someone came to play today.

Q1 2:55 – MartyB is the dumbest football player in the NFL.  And 3rd & 3 is a passing down and you only had one WR (Miles Austin) on the field??  I don’t consider Roy a WR since he does very little receiving.  And then you send MB3 out wide??  And your brilliant play is to get it MartyB?  Jason Garret you kill me with your comedic play callings.

Q1 2:21 – Great play by Sensabaugh to break up what looked to be a big gainer.

Q1 1:20 – Early on it appears the Texans are targeting Terrance Newman.

End Of The First Quarter – Dallas 0  Houston 0

Q2 14:16 – SERIOUSLY??  3rd and 19 and they give up with a draw and you let them make the first down??

Q2 11:09 – Way to hold them to a FG after giving up that unconscionable 3rd and 19.

Q2 11:06 – FG Texans [Hou 3  Dal 0]

Q2 11:06 – So, Miller Lite, by Triple Hops Brewed, you mean that three hops buds were used in the entire decades production of your flavorless swill??  Who’s doing your marketing these days?  The people that care about hops aren’t going to drink your dreck.

Q2 10:50 – Nice play once again negated by a stupid penalty.

Q2 9:40 – I would be remiss to not mention that Roy makes his first catch of the game.

Q2 8:55 – And now his second for a big first down.  Still no throws to Austin.

Q2 6:59 – Nice try for the home run to Dez.

Q2 6:52 – Where have you been Dez Bryant.  All he does is make plays.

Q2 5:40 – Roy again with a tough catch for a first down.

Q2 5:03 – Wha?  You’re gonna throw across the field to the dumbest player in the NFL?  How is that a good idea.  Cowboys are lucky that didn’t get picked off.

Q2 4:55 – I’ve just about had it with the delayed draw.

Q2 4:09 – Wow.  What effort by Austin to get it down to the 1.

Q2 3:36 – TD MB3 [Dal 7  Hou 3]

Q2 1:55 – Ware with his second sack of the game to force a punt.

Q2 0:27 – Ugh.  Another play canceled by an offensive penalty.

Q2 0:01 – This is exciting 1 second left for Buehler to try to miss the FG.  Prepare to be frustrated with a timeout just as Buehler attempts the miss.

Q2 0:00 – FG Dallas to everyone’s surprise.  How was that not a delay of game penalty??

End of the first Half [Dallas 10 Houston 3]

Q3 11:00 – Come on Dallas.  Let’s stop them here.  Stop giving them big plays on third down.

Q3 10:20 – Woo hoo.  Sack by Ratliff.

Q3 8:19 – Well that didn’t go well.

Q3 6:15 – This has turned into the first two games for the Cowboys where I go near comatose with boredom during the third quarter.

Q3 5:46 – I nice defense stand negated by a dumb play by Jenkins.

Q3 5:36 – But he makes up for it the next play with an interception, the first take-away by the Cowboys of the year.  How is that even possible?

Q3 5:30 – Ok, the delayed draw worked that time.  But still…

Q3 4:55 – That doesn’t mean we have to do it again.  Geez.

Q3 3:25 – WTF.  Sam Hurd??  Where has he been?  Nice catch.

Q3 2:41 – Nice catch by Dez and a nicer tackle by the camera man.

Q3 2:10 – MartyB with a "smart” first down.  Way to find the open space Marty.

Q3 1:34 – TD Roy Williams.  Is this his best game as a Cowboy?  That’s quite a catch by Roy.  He went up and got it where Romo put it and where the DB couldn’t get it. [Dal 17  Hou 3]

Q3 1:34 – This was also easily the best drive of the season for the Cowboys.  90 yards after the Mike Jenkins interception.  Is this the moment the season turns around for Dallas?

Q3 1:28 – Has all the field goal practice weakened Buehler’s leg?  Still no touchbacks this year.

Q3 1:22 – Now can the defense provide a much needed shutdown inning.

Q3 0:54 – Wow that Foster can run in open space.  Let’s not let that happen again, ok?

Q3 0:11 – Rut roh.  Ratliff coming off gimpy.

End of the Third Quarter [Dallas 17  Houston 3]

Q4 12:34 – Cowboys got lucky with the offsetting penalties.  Brooking has looked lost all season in coverage.  Maybe his pregame rants are taking their toll on him. 

Q4 12:30 – I need to bad mouth more players.  It seems like each time I do they make a huge play.  Huge sack and sack up by Brooking and a huge goal line stand by the Cowboys.  Houston had it 1st and 10 at the half yard line and the Cowboys’ D kept pushing the Texans backwards.

Q4 12:25 – FG Houston [Dal 17 Hou 6]

Q4 11:30 – Not good.  Kosar out with an injury.

Q4 11:00 – And now no gain on a run.

Q4 9:54 – TD Roy Williams.  My Main Man is having a career day. [Dal 24 Hou 6]

Q4 9:04 – Fumbled by Foster recovered by Newman.  Another takeaway by the Dallas Defense.

Q4 8:11 – First down MB3.   Run it and Run it and Run it…..

Q4 5:13 – First down Dez Bryant on 4th down.  It looks so easy today.

Q4 3:40 – FG Buehler.  Everything is working today!  [Dal  27 Hou 6]

Q4 1:15 – Meaningless TD Houston  [Dal 27 Hou 13]

Q4 1:12 – Onsides kick recovered by Houston thanks to another dumb play by MartyB.

Q4 0:36 – Dallas gets their third turnover of the day.  Game over.

End of Game Dallas 27  Houston 13

How is this Even Possible??

While listening to Pandora today, I was treated to a previously unknown (to me) Van Morrisonson song – It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue.  I was shocked, shocked I say, that I had never heard it.  After all, I thought I had all his music on my iPhong.  Well it turns out it’s really a song when he was the lead vocalist of Them.  So I may still get to keep my fan club membership decoder ring.

Facebookers who need to hear a great song, go here.

Because It’s Never Too Early to Christmas Shop

Facebookers who dare, may click here.

Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, my thighs are cellulite free at last!

I thought this was a joke.  But I found it on Amazon.  So, if you want to buy one…

Happy Fall

I'm not entirely sure why Fall is my favorite season.  After-all, it's when the weather starts getting cold.  But I guess at a certain point I get so beaten down by hot humid Dallas, I desperately need a cool off.

Regardless of the reason, I'm just happy it's finally here. 

Walkabout 2010 Finale

Towards the end of any walkabout, the energy to crap out these blog postings drops off considerably.   So I decided to just dump all of the loose ends from my trip in one gigantic final episode.  Regardless of what you think, it will still make far more sense than the Lost finale.

Day 10 Pictures

Post wedding chilling in Seattle and a visit to the Fremont Troll.

Day 12 Pictures

Hiking and Biking around Hood River and a visit to one of my favorite restaurants.

Day 13 Pictures

More Hood Mt area hiking and picture taking.

 

Best Meals Not Formally Reviewed

• Elliot’s Oyster House (Seattle) – The one place I can’t wait to get back to.  Amazing oysters and crab.  The waitstaff is very knowledgeable and willing to handhold oyster novices to oyster nirvana.
• Pink Door (Seattle) – This was probably the best overall meal of the entire trip.  Excellent food, wine and cocktails and you get a girl on a trapeze.
• Umi (Seattle) – Very good fresh sushi, but the rolls were hit or miss.
• Pok Pok (Portland) -  Excellent southeast Asian street food.  Don’t fall for the hype of the “award winning” chicken wings.
• Three River’s Grill – The return trip to one of my alltime favorite restaurants.  Great food and an even better view of the Columbian River.

 

Food Map

View Walkabout 2010 in a larger map

Facebookers can see the pretty pictures here.

I’m A Carollatarian

And buy his book for christsake.

 

 

Facebookers, watch my leader here.

Live Blogging Bears @ Cowboys

Pregame:  I look for Dallas to bounce back and take this one 24-12.

Pregame:  Today’s pregame meal is brought to you by Burger House.  Mmmmmm burger.

Q1 14:50:  It’s not a good sign that your kicker has to make yet another tackle.  How many does he have now?  Three?

Q1 14: 05:  Nice sack by Spencer.  You could tell he was coming before the snap.  But with two officials now in the backfield, how does neither see the blatant facemask.  Oh well.  Good for us.

Q1 13:45:  Ware almost got him.  Maybe Chicago has a worse O Line than Dallas.

Q1 10:46:  Jones dropped for a loss in the 3 back set. 

Q1 10:09:  INT.  One has to wonder if there is Khardasian residue on Miles hands that kept him from holding on to that.

Q1: 8:50:  There’s a whole lot of confusion on the Dallas D presnap.  But somehow Chicago was more confused and false started.

Q1 8:01:  Cutler may need to be scrapped of the Deathstar Astroturf before this game is over.

Q1 7:31:  FG Chicago [Chi 3  Dal 0]

Q1 6:20:  Sweet.  Three 7+ yard runs in a row by MB3

Q1 4:41:  First ball thrown to Roy Williams and he again looks clueless as to where to be on a hot route.

Q1 4:37:  Chicago sniffs out the screen.  After three great runs, this drive is going nowhere.

Q1 4:20:  Ugh.  Well that went poorly.

Q1 3:52:  Is it me or is this game being transmitted in Medium Definition?  The picture looks very foggy and not very colorful.

Q1 2:44:  TD Dez Bryant on 62 yard punt return!  The punter is still looking for his jock.  [Dal 7 Chi 3]

Q1 2:44:  Onside kick fail.  Who’s idea was that?  Chicago has nothing on Offense.  Why give them any field position like this?

Q1 1:09:  TD Chicago.  And this is why you don’t onside kick.  [Chi 10  Dal 7]

End Of the First Quarter – Chicago 10  Dallas 7

Q2 13:36:  WOW Nice catch by Williams.   And that was a hell of a hit he took.

Q2 11:20:  Miles must have washed up between quarters as he’s made two good catches in a row.

Q2  10:15:  Can someone please explain the Miller Lite Vortex bottle to me.  Were there people having trouble pouring their beers out of their bottles?  Was drinking a Miller Lite like drinking ketchup;  you had to work it out with a knife and bang on the bottom of the bottle?  Just askin.

Q2 8:16:  TD Gronkowski, my good Polish brother.  [Dal 14 Chi 10]

Q2 7:15:  I love Demarcus Ware and I don’t care who knows.

Q2 5:50:  Ugh.  59 yard completion by Knox.  Dallas secondary looked way caught off guard.  Cutler had so much time they must have thought he was getting sacked again.

Q2 3:40:  TD Hester on a great catch.  [Chi 17 Dal 14]

Q2 3:40:  Bad challenge by Dallas.  It’s clear on the replay Hester was dragging his right foot.

Q2 3:40:  Why did Dallas stop blitzing??  You can’t give Cutler time to find his receivers.

Q2 2:24:  I love Miles Austin and I don’t care who knows.

Q2 1:39: INT Chicago. Romo’s second.  Another deflection.  Let’s see some blitzes

Q2 0:36:  Jenkins with another great play.  I’m not sure I quite love him yet, tho.

Q2 0:20 FG Chicago. [Chi 20 Dal 14]

Q2 0:20:  Will Dallas take a knee with 20 seconds left on the Chicago 20?

Q2 0:18: Yes!

End of the First Half  Chicago 20 Dallas 14

Q3 14:51 Pam Oliver sounded like she was about to cry.  Keep your chins up Pam.

Q3 14:03:  I would like to write an open letter to Jason Garret.  Dear Jason, PLEASE STOP FUCKING RUNNING THE WILDCAT.  Yours Truly, Steve

Q3 12: 50: It’s hilarious that Roy’s defender slipped so he could catch that.  Otherwise we would have seen another incomplete and bewildered looks by Roy insisting on a pass interference.

Q3 11:20:  MartyB is an embarrassment to Aggie Intelligence.

Q3 10:37:  FG Dallas [Chi 20 Dal 17]

Q3  8:03:  The Dallas D cannot stop Chicago right now.  Newman was lucky to not be called for pass interference on that deep ball.

Q3 7:55:  Nice Sensabaugh tackle to force the 4th down punt.  Cutler still had too much time, though.

Q3 7:55:  So I had this great idea for a movie.  Helen Mirren is an international assassin along with John Malkovic and Easy Reader.  But it looks like it’s already been made.  Seriously, people, stop going to movies.  They stopped making anything worth seeing a long time ago.

Q3 6:20: DEZ!! 

Q3 3:20:  I know the ball was thrown behind Roy.  But why even try to throw at a receiver that is so unwilling to make any kind of adjustments.  They were in 3rd and long because Roy, once again, was unaware he was the hot route and didn’t realize the ball was going to him.  Dear Jason, We spoke earlier about the Wildcat.  I’m still not for it.  But if you need to do it can you do me a little favor.  STOP PUTTING ROY WILLIAMS ON THE FIELD.  Yours Truly, Steve.

Q3  0:20:  That was a better showing by the Dallas Defense.

Q3 0:00:  Felix Jones can’t find any room to run today.

End of the Third Quarter – Chicago 20 Dallas 17

Q4 12:48:  This Offense Sucks.  There are tiny hints of brilliance that ultimately disappoint.  Not unlike this blog.

Q4 11:00:  Another good three-and-out forced by the Dallas D.

Q4 10:27:  So Hamlin committed the illegal block in the back and upended Dez.  If he were just a special teams guy I would be writing a tersely worded memo to Joe Avezzano insisting Hamlin be cut.

Q4 10:20:  Where would this offense be without Miles Austin?  The dude is always open.

Q4 9:46:  Teams are no longer falling for the delayed HB draw.  Let’s move on to something else.

Q4 7:23:  UGH.  Missed FG by Buehler.   Get Eddie Murry on the blower.

Q4 5:45:  It’s not comforting that Wade always looks lost and confused after and opposing offense has just torn up his defense for a big play.  And, of course, I mean more lost and more confused than normal.

Q4 5:45.  Season is over if Jenkins is seriously hurt.

Q4 5:40:  TD Forte [Chi 27 Dal 17]

Q4 5:40:  I’ve seen enough.  THIS TEAM SUCKS!  Wade may want to swing by the grocery store on his way home to pick up some moving boxes.

Q4 4:30:  Fumble Recovered by Urlacher.  Even when Roy does something good it turns bad.  Seriously, get rid of him.  Jerry, you made a bad trade.  Let’s cut our losses.  Why is he getting thrown to?

Q4 2:00:  If something good is to come out of this disaster, MartyB seems to stepping up for a Jason Witten who’s sidelined with concussion concerns.

Q4 1:49:  Well, he still needs to know to get out of bounds during a 2-minute drill.

Q4 1:17:  FG Dallas [Chi 27 Dal 20]  Buehler redeems.

Q4 1:16:  This onsides kick didn’t work either.

End of Game – Chicago 27  Dallas 20

Live Blogging: Cowboys at Redskins

Pregame: Preparing for Football Season with some crab cakes from TJ’s and while still basking in the glow of a Rangers sweep of the hated Yankees.

Pregame:  Do we really need this tired ripoff of “Are You Ready for Some Football”?

Pregame:  I’m setting the over/under on the number of times we see the “Brees ‘Personality’ NFLShop.com” commercial at 4 1/2.  I swear I saw it 100 times today and it’s already run once in the pregame.

Pregame:  I’m fearful of a sloppy preseason and a banged up offensive line.  Prediction 24-20 Deadskins.

Q1 15:00:  And here we go…………..!

Q1 14:55:  “Miles Austin, Garfield Highschool”, pretty cool!

Q1 14:50:  “First catch and first down from the Garfield HS graduate!

Q1 13:05:  MB3 looks good early with a couple of easy first downs.

Q1 12:25:  Dez just 2 yards on his first catch. Then back with the same play for minus 1. 

Q1 11:01:  Even when the ball doesn’t even get to him, Roy Williams looks bad as he’s driven to the ground after a deflection.

Q1 4:29: Cowboys finally able to stop them on 3rd down.

Q1 4:25:  FG Washington [Wash 3  Dal 0]

Q1 4:11: Jones in Space.  New this year on the WB.  That’s funny cause the WB doesn’t exist anymore.

Q1 1:19:  Wow.  Roy Williams makes a tough catch and then seems to be broken.

Q1 0:45:  Jesus Fuck.  That sort swing pass to Bryant isn’t working. STOP IT.

 

END of the First Quarter – Washington 2  Dallas 0

 

Q2 14:21:  Buehler missed a kick.  Someone get a Gramatica on the blower.

Q2 11:47:  Are you fucking kidding me?? Who the fuck called a time out on a play that was going to go for miles??  MB3 was headed for the house.

Q2 11:47:  Brees commercial second showing.

Q2 11:40:  Good thing they still picked up the 1st down on a similar play.

Q2 10:39:  Offense seems to be just as disorganized as in the preseason.  Maybe they should try that 1 yard swing pass to Bryant.  No one would ever expect that again.

Q2 8:15:  Nice FB dive for 7 yards and to get the offense off their own goal line.

Q2 0:22:  I haven’t written much in the last 8 minutes because I was passed out from boredom.

Q2 0:00: TD Washington.  [Wash 10  Dal 0]   OMG.  Choice fumbles with no time left.  Fall down, goddammit!!

 

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END OF THE FIRST HALF – Washington 10   Dallas 0

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Q3 15:00:  Let’s hope things go better this half.

Q3 14:55:  Nice tackle by the kicker Buehler.  Still doesn’t make up for his miss, though.

Q3  11:12:  Washington calls their second timeout of the half.  Will this come back to bite them?  I’m not sure anyone could possibly know that.

Q3 10:23:  Scandrick is offsides on a made Washington FG.  Did this team even go to training camp?

Q3 9:37:  Interception by Newman in the endzone.  But he held just before the pick for a Washington first down.  This just keeps getting better and better. 

Q3 9:21:  Jenkins make two plays in a row to keep the Redskins out of the endzone.  At least someone cares.

Q3 9:15:  Juggled snap on the FG hold and Newman’s fuck up is nullified.  Cowboys ball on downs.  Is this the turning point of the season?  Is anyone still watching this mess?

Q3 7:36:  Jesus F Christ.  Why is Roy Williams on the team.  The ball was in your fucking hands Roy.  Catch it.  You suck.  Die.

Q3 6:55:  Bryant is fast right?  Why all these short routes?  Well, no points again on a drive.  Worst Offense Ever.  This team will not score the entire season as long as Roy Williams is playing. Cut his ass.

Q3  5:05:  Ugh.  Wildcat for 4 yards.  That will get us back  in the game.

Q3  4:15:  Bryant finally thrown to downfield.  First down!

Q3  3:50:  Nice.  Option football baby.  Somewhere Emory Bullard is smiling in his grave.  He’s dead, right?

Q3 1:41:  TD Miles Austin.  [Wash 10  Dal 7]

Q3 1:41:  BTW on that play MartyB motioned to the left and seemed to start blocking one second after the snap.  Is there a less interested player in the NFL than MartyB? 

Q3 1:33:  Buehler with his second tackle fo the game.  I’m not sure that’s a good sign when your kicker is having to make tackles.

END OF THIRD QUARTER – Washinton 10  Dallas 7

Q4 14:50:  Ware with the sack.  Finally they get to McNabb.

Q4 11:30:  MartyB with the stupid block in the back to negate another nice catch and run by Austin.  This also set up the very unstable 1st and 12.

Q4 11:18:  The one yard swing past to Roy Williams is not going to work either, Garret.

Q4 10:20:  Mmmmmmm 3rd and 26 after a hold and false start.  Somewhere Flozell Adams is smiling in his grave.  He’s dead, right?

Q4 7:40: Seriously.  Stop throwing to Roy Williams.  They had a fucking Linebacker on him.  He sucks.  Cut him.  NOW!

Q4 6:20:  Another set of downs that ends in a punt thanks to a an ill-advised throw to Williams.

Q4 4:31:  Uhoh.   Ware’s down.  There goes the season.

Q4 3:10:  Defense is tired.   Washington is finally able to run the ball on a gassed Dallas D.

Q4 1:50:  FG Washington.  Wash 13  Dal 7.   We’re gonna need some Romo Jedi magic.  Please someone give Roy Williams some pom-poms and have him on the sidelines cheering instead of “running” routes.

Q4  1:45:  Ogltree with the kick return.  Where has he been all night??

Q4 0:11:  Austin keeps it interesting with a 31 yard catch on 4th and 10.

Q4 0:08:  Williams again?? STOP IT!

Q4 0:03:  Boring game until the final two minutes.

Q4 0:03:  Last play of the game.

Q4 0:00:  TD Williams but negated by a Barren’s third holding call.  With no time left the game is over on an offensive penalty.

FINAL  Washington 13 Dallas 7

Nice game guys.  Keep playing like this and you’ll get that first pick in the draft.

Mr. Plinkett Finally Likes a Movie

From the man who tore George Lucas a new one with his scathing reviews of The Phantom Menace and The Attack of the Clones as well as disemboweling all of the Star Trek TNG movies, we now get a good review of J. J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot.

 

 

 

Facebookers can see these reviews HERE!!