Shit I Don’t Get: Drinking Beer at Whole Foods

There is a new phenomenon that has been troubling me since the jumbo Whole Foods on Park opened up last year, and that is that people go there and drink beer and wine at the beer and wine bar inside the Whole Foods.  A similar bar was later installed in the cheese section of my beloved neighborhood Lakewood Whole Foods.

Now, I fully admit that maybe I’m not “the hippest dude on the ranch”.  And that maybe I’m not the “coolest cat at the cat college”.  And maybe sometimes I can’t “control my bowels and often crap my pants.”  Now that last one was hurtful and I am now wondering why you brought that up and if we could even still be friends.  Maybe we should spend some time apart until I can figure out where this thing is going.

But one place I won’t be figuring out the future of our relationship is the Beer and Wine Bar at Whole Foods.

I’ve found myself in the Lakewood Whole Foods on a Friday evening a time or two the last few months.  And each and every time I am dumbfounded at the number of people drinking at the beer/wine bar in the middle of the store.  It’s Friday night, people, go to a real bar

I first became acquainted with the Whole Foods beer/wine bar while I was working in Irvine, CA for a couple of weeks in late 2009.  Twelve hour days were the norm during that trip and I would often swing by the Whole Foods in Tustin for dinner.  It was the first time I had seen a bar in a grocery store.  But even in Tustin, where there’s nothing to do but admire the gigantic concrete blimp hangers,  there would only be a couple of people drinking.

But the Lakewood Whole Foods is always hopping. The thing that baffles me is that there are beers on tap that you can get anywhere else.  The beers offered are usually not as good or diverse as the beers offered just a mile or two away at The Bottle Shop or The Goodfriend.  Is it because they are cheaper??  I know the beers at Whole Foods will run around $4 while the same beer might be $6.  But here’s the thing.  I would gladly pay $2 extra on a beer in order to not be exposed to harsh grocery store lighting and to not be wedged in between the petchuli based fragrances and the stinky cheeses.

So someone is going to have to clue me in.  What’s the allure?  What’s the draw?  Why would anyone treat a grocery store as a neighborhood bar in neighborhood that has several neighborhood bars?

Please discuss and get back to me.

Whole Foods Makes Me Giggle

Whole Foods made me giggle derisively to myself not once, not twice but three times today.  For those scoring at home, that’s a comedic hat trick.  And if you are scoring at home, why are you reading this blog.  Seriously, get back to it.

Before I continue, let me give a positioning statement about Whole Foods.  I’m not a huge fan.  If I’m going to overspend on marginally superior groceries I want to do it with less smugness and less hipster vibe.  Which is why I prefer Central Market.  If there weren’t a Whole Foods just down the street from me, I would probably never go. 

The first Whole Foods induced giggle came during the day when I received an email claiming “URGENT! Take Action Now”.  Wow, this must be really important.  Have the Chinese cornered the market on gluten free muffin tops?  Is Rick Perry about to lift the ban on hair products tested on bunny rabbits?

Nope  The USDA is about to deregulate genetically engineered alfalfa.  

It truly is the end times as the Mayans predicted.

This is funny to me on so many levels.  I’m always amused by over-the-top hyperbole about negligible dangers.  It’s like the 10pm news promo:  “There’s something in your refrigerator that can kill your family!!”.  Now maybe genetically engineered alfalfa will trigger the zombie apocalypse.  But my money is on a Khardasian/Jersey Shore cross pollinated super herpes. Now that’s something that requires urgent attention.

The second thing that made me laugh is seeing people hang out at the wine bar at the Park Lane Whole Foods.  There are bars all up and down Greenville and this is where you want a Chardonnay at 8pm on a Friday?  I kind of get being able to walk around with a glass of wine.  It helps dull the pain of their exorbitant prices. Plus the tofu and quinoa salad might not taste so bad after a half a box of merlot. The odd thing is that the bar is right by seafood case.  I don’t need raw fish wafting by me as I’m sipping a hefeweizen. [Make your own Sue Ellen’s joke here]

Finally, while waltzing past the wine bar (that’s right, I like to waltz when I shop) I see a sign that says “Sustainable Wine”.  I love how we have to glom onto a concept and shoehorn it into everything.  Isn’t wine pretty sustainable as it is?  I mean we’ve only been making wine for what, two or three thousand years?  Sounds sustainable to me.  I almost expected to see another sign next to it saying “Gluten-free Water”.

Working In SoCal: Day 2

Working 12 hour days leaves not much time for anything, including eating. So after work today I strove to have a well balance dinner of locally grown organic fruit and In-N-Out burger. It was delicious.

The Whole Foods here is fantastic. It has far more prepared food than even the one on Preston and Forest. There was a station for Chinese/Thai and Indian, one for seafood as well as stations for your typical prepared foods. Here's hoping the Lakewood Whole Foods gets some of this.

As for the In-N-Out, I may have to rate this a bit high than I did last year. I had to drive a frustrating 10 minutes after getting my burger. I was so hungry and it smelled so good.

And while I'm not a fan of southern California, it is nice to look out the window where we're working and see palm trees and mountains. It's very comforting.