I’ve Had Better May 22nds

Please don’t read into that headline that today is going badly.  It is not.  I’m working from home watching the Rangers put up 5 runs early for Yu.  However, thanks to The Facebooks, I have to admit, today is not the best May 22 ever.

I’m not that savvy with the technologies, so don’t berate me with comments such as “Uh, I’ve known about that for literally a billion years asshole.  Write about things you know something about like crapping your pants.”

Now I will get around to blogging about crapping my pants some day, but today I wanted review a new (to me) Facebook app – On This Day.

With this new “App” you can review your timeline On This Day for any given year.  So, for instance on this day in 2009:

Oh, look, I was in France.  That’s a pretty good May 22.

And just last year:

I was putting pig in my face in the Altstadt.

Today may be better than May 22, 2011 for me and all my friends as nothing shows up in my newsfeed for that day.  So I guess I can’t feel too bad about today.

I Will Never Forget You, Rural Juror : 30 Rock Series Finale Facebook Statuses

All great things must come to an end.  And as I finish one final bag of Sabor de Soledad, I give to you one last set of Facebook statuses gleaned from 30 Rock*.

 

 

• Just completed my six-sigma wheel of domination.
• Has a degree in ethno-musicology from Wesleyan.
• Is just an alcoholic with a great voice.
• Spent Christmas alone in the Hamptons drinking Scotch and throwing firecrackers at Billy Joel's dog.
• Is going out for cigarettes right now.  I'll be back in 15 minutes.
• Hogcock!
• Grover Cleveland called.  He wants his watch back.  And he left two non-consecutive messages.
• Wouldn’t be caught dead in a sweater-vest. **

* Yes, I stole this from JT

** OK,  those last two were from Archer.

Breaking Bad Facebook Status: Hazard Pay

Wow, the show is getting really dark.  Gone are the lighthearted days of cutting your henchman’s throat open with a box cutter.  And this darkness is harshing my Facebook status mining.  It’s another light week.  If this doesn’t turn around soon, this will be declared a failed bit.

 

 

 

• Doesn’t need a fourth amigo.
• Wants to see Vamonos Pests at the Granada

Breaking Bad Facebook Statuses: Madrigal

Sorry, not much Facebook-worthy this week.

 

 

 

• Can’t decide between Cajun Kick-Ass and Franch
• RIP Los Pollos Hermanos
• Guesses he’s coming to you.

Breaking Bad Facebook Status: Live Free or Die

I’m stealing a page from JT’s blogging playbook in which he lists potential Facebook statuses from recent episodes of 30 Rock.With Season 5 of Breaking Bad having started, I will be doing the same for it.  However I will be departing from JT’s standard by not delineating between Good and Bad statuses.  This is Breaking Bad,after all.  There won’t be any Good statuses.

 

 

• Is familiar with the universal sign for “keys”, scumbag.
• Is going to put on a black leotard and dangle from a clothesline.
• Lives in a world of string theories and God particles.
• Is thinking one thought – Hogan’s Heroes.
• Can foresee a lot of possible outcomes to this thing.  And not a single one of them involves Miller Time.
• Yeah, bitch!  Magnets!

 

For a limited time, this episode can be seen here, unless you live in Düsseldorf