Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Onion Says What We All Think
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Central Market Douchebag of the Week

This week's candidates:
- The Anal-Retentive chef that meticulously tied each produce sack with a twist tie before weighing his produce, thus preventing anyone from using that scale until he was done.
- The Aren't We Precious High School/College chicks clogging up the cheese area (ironic?) by having one girl push the oversized cart with little in it while the other holds an iPhone up to her ear so she can tell her friend about being at Central Market.
- The Introspective Rabbi sitting outside the café on a 30° day. I don't think he was really a rabbi. But he was doing his darndest to look like a young Bob Dylan – all the while scribbling down his insightful poetic ramblings while sipping his latte.
- The Bald Dude with the Hipster-Doofus glasses passing judgment on all he sees around him
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Gee, Thanks for the Headsup

Five stocks you should know about now (as of 10/31/08).
Wow! Really!
Well, shit. Let me get in my Delorean and go back 6 weeks so I can make a killing in the market. This will really help the 401(k).
What next? A strong sell recommendation (as of 9/1929)??
A Festivus Feast

I would add a Junior Mint Martini for dessert.
1 shot Creme de Menthe
1 shot Creme de Cocoa
1 shot Vanilla Vodka
Hmmmmmm. Maybe I should bring a batch of these to Festivus.
Pass the big salad, please.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Today's Worst Person In The World

Yes, it's tiring being a rock star. But with enough booger sugar, anything's possible.
And with the job site up in Lewisville, I have been forced to use the horrible I35E freeway. No one should ever complain about using Central or the Toll Road. Those highways are luxurious free flowing streams in comparison to 35E.
No, I'm not making the freeway the worst person. Instead I'm calling out one of our so-called public servants. This morning, while driving up I35 in one of the regular lanes I saw ahead a truck that illegally crossed the double HOV lane divider and entered my lane. This guy is not today's Worst Person either. Instead, it was the assclown in the DART truck lazily driving up well slower than any of the normal lanes. He wasn't stopping to pick up debris or anything. He was just going slow while the taxpayers of the Metroplex were trying to get to work. Just because you have two people in your truck doesn't mean you HAVE to drive in the HOV lane. The HOV lane is there so you can go faster than the other lanes, not slower.
The dumbass DART employee clogging up the HOV lane -- Today's WORST PERSON in the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDD.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Next Time I Will Walk Into The Cock & Bull Will Be......

It will be then that Lakewood's smokiest gastropub will be to tolerable to non-smokers.
Thank you Dallas City Council. You finally did something right. Although my libertarian leanings may disagree with these kinds of nanny-state intrusions into property rights, I hate stinking like smoke after leaving a bar. So deploy the Jack-Booted thugs to enforce my desire to drown my sorrows in semi-clean air.
Friday, December 5, 2008
If You're Thinking Of Getting Your Favorite Blogger a Christmas Gift...
Serious Eats Gift Guide: For Bacon Lovers


If you're a Serious Eats regular, chances are you're also a bacon lover. We've created a holiday gift guide especially for you to share with your friends and family to ensure your holidays are bacon-filled. You can thank us later.
Monday, December 1, 2008
More Fun With Google Maps
I can now take a small walkabout everyday at work.
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Yosemite Valley
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Joshua Tree NP
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Huntington Beach Pier
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Yosemite Valley
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Joshua Tree NP
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Huntington Beach Pier
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